Battling Cancer, Winning It and Expecting her Second Child!

I came to know about Meiru's [owner of Flip For Joy 乐翻天] battle with cancer eight years ago when she gave birth to Ryan. Well basically, I knew her and she doesn't know me. We have a mutual friend Jaime, owner of [in]trigue, who had been feeding me news of Meiru's somber cancer journey because I was going through the same cancer crap from my mother's lymphoma as a caregiver. Listening to her story spurred me on with my caregiving duties.

I remember my heart was broken when I heard how much Meiru had to go through. She was separated from her new-born on days of treatments and could not care for him as much as she would have loved to. Being pregnant and anticipating the arrival of your first-born should be filled with joy and bliss. Yet, the Hos had to brave uncertainties, pain and fear during that dark uncertain period.

The bright side of it all was that they did not know the existence of the tumour which started growing in her throughout the pregnancy! They only knew about it when her son was 4 months old. She noticed an unusual swelling around her right collarbone. As with all first-time mothers, she was overwhelmed by the demands of being a new mom that she dismissed it as engorgement. A friend at work thought it looked suspicious and urged her to investigate it further. After several scans and biopsies, she was diagnosed with cancer. They found a locally aggressive desmoid tumour. They were devastated.

It is said that cancer during pregnancy is extremely rare and yet, three of my friends had to weather the storms of cancer during their pregnancies! [Here's my other friend Jen Wang's colon cancer story covered by The Straits Times]

Our initial opinions as bystanders were obviously, "Save the mother! You can always have another child."

It definitely does not make you commendable [伟大] for wanting to give your life up for that little life in you. What about your husband whom you may leave behind if you choose against treatment during pregnancy? What about your loved ones who will be mourning for your departure [and possibly the baby's] if you said, "I don't mind dying. I will do all I can to keep her alive!" I am just glad Meiru and Paul did not have to go through this painful decision when they were pregnant with Ryan.

Yet, as a mother, I can understand the predicament of keeping your life over your unborn child's. Unborn or not, this little bean has a beating heart waiting for mommy to give her a chance to live. Selfishness, stupidity or insane, you may call it. It certainly is not for these mothers who were willing to risk their own lives for their children. Husbands, they could only give their support.

On a side note, all three of my girlfriends won their battles with cancer during their pregnancies and gave birth to healthy babies! Today, these mothers are still surviving and enjoying motherhood.

Picture courtesy from Meiru on 鸡年初一
How is Meiru and her family? They are expecting their second child this year! Oh yes! Not only did she got cleared of cancer, the family is now waiting for the debut of Gracelyn in March! However, it was not without much fear and anxiety.

They were strongly discouraged by doctors all these years to have another child because there are worries that there may still be tumour cells lurking in her body. It is scary to learn that pregnancy hormones may stimulate a relapse. Especially desmoid tumors which Meiru had. It can occur in women during pregnancy from elevated hormones or after a surgical delivery. Should the tumour recur and she require treatment again, it will cause a lot of damage to her body. On one hand, they counted their blessings that they have a beautiful and healthy son. On the other, they wanted to expand their family too. It was extremely hard to accept that something as wonderful as pregnancy may give her cancer.

"My husband and I have always wanted a big family. We struggled for years and still could not find peace with this cruel reality. Our whole family came to accept Christ in the recent years and after much praying and getting assurance that I have been healed, we took a leap of faith and tried for another child after seven years, and God gave us mei mei!" shared Meiru.

Well of course they were overjoyed and extremely grateful for their miracle baby!

"My surgical oncologist gave me a hug and teared along with me, and even waived off my consulation fee! Being a father of four and understanding my struggles all these years, he was happy for me and gave me plenty of reassurance that it would be a healthy pregnancy. My radiation oncologist, a close friend of ours, helped to do a lot of research and careful planning to monitor me closely in ways that were safe for the baby. He shared our joy and gave us much hope too throughout the pregnancy." said Meiru.

Everything seemed to progress smoothly and they grew more confident as they overcame each hurdle, confirming that it was truly God's plan for their family.

Photo Courtesy from Meiru on Gracelyn's EDD Announcement
FACT
Desmoid fibromatosis has been classifed by institutions such as WHO as an intermediate form of soft tissue sacorma. Although they do not metasize, they are aggressive and can can cause life threatening problems or even death when they compress vital organs such as intestines, kidney, lungs, blood vessels, nerves etc. The tendecy for recurrence makes the treatment of these relatively rare fibrous tumors challenging too. Desmoid tumors are rare and are reported to account for 0.03% of all neoplasms (i.e. tumours). According to the US National Organization for Rare Disorders, it affects 2 to 4 in 1 million people per year. 

CARE
Meiru underwent an extensive surgery to remove the 9x4cm tumour, along with her right collarbone, pectoral major muscle, parts of her 1st to 3rd ribs, some veins and blood vessels. It was followed by a month of intensive radiotherapy. There is limited data but some studies show that 30-70% of desmoid tumors recur after surgery, and there are cases of recurrence even after 10 years. Thankfully, she has been monitored closely and regular MRI scans have shown no tumour recurrence since.

Let us pray [in whatever religion you believe in] that Meiru will be able to delivery Gracelyn naturally and avoid any form of surgeries in a month's time shall we?

Meiru and I became friends hmmm... I cannot remember when. But the friendship kicked off as if we have known each other for a long time. She was my lifeline when I needed help to naming Faye! We knew all along that Faye would be called Faye but the Chinese name was a headache since Meyer and I are not proficient in the language. Meiru was a Chinese teacher in her previous life [before becoming mommy] and she was the perfect candidate to name our daughter.

She named Faye, 杨婧霏, meaning virtuous, beauty, delicate and depicting the falling snow. We loved the name. Thank you Jiang 老师! Ever since I became a mother myself, I bought every single Chinese storybook from Flip For Joy 乐翻天 in support to this very courageous and resilient fellow friend-cancer survivor-mompreneur. Why wouldn't anyone?

After all that she had been through, it truly is a story to Flip For Joy for.

Meiru has a message for you:

"I want to remind fellow mummies to be vigilant (but not paranoid!) during their pregnancies and after giving birth. Never brush off abnormal changes in their body like lumps/swelling because desmoid tumours can occur during pregnancy/after childbirth and it is always better to have early detection." 

Paul, Ryan and Gracelyn, you have got yourselves a beautiful woman to have and hold for the rest of your lives. She will weather all storms for you, hold your hands and catch you when you fall. You know you can count on her to be your life partner, friend and mother. No one deserves to suffer like she did but every day with you, she only sees it as a blessing. I know. Because I see it in her eyes, in the photographs she posts and in the words she writes. You are all that she's got and you are the reasons she's fighting.

Every day, 37 Singaporeans are diagnosed with cancer and 1 in 3 deaths in Singapore is attributed to cancer. Without a doubt, it is a very prevalent disease and we all know of a friend or loved one who has been affected by cancer.

At the upcoming Relay For Life, Singapore Cancer Society hopes to mobilize the community to celebrate the lives of cancer survivors, remember those we have lost to cancer and fight back against the disease that has taken so much. RFL is also a fund-raising event where we hope to raise $800,000 to fund SCS programmes.

Over this 17-hour event, there are 3 key moments and each holds a special significance:

· The Survivor’s Lap – where all cancer survivors at the event would take on the first lap around the track incelebration of their victory over cancer

· Luminaria Ceremony – this takes place after dark where the stadium will be illuminated with LED balloons to remember people who have fought and lost the cancer journey and also to support those whose fight continues. The balloons are placed around the relay track as glowing tributes to those who have been affected by cancer.”

· Fight Back Ceremony – this emotionally powerful ceremony will symbolize the emotional commitment each one of us can make it the fight against cancer where we pledge to take action and spread awareness of cancer research, treatments and prevention

Event Details 
Venue: Bukit Gombak Stadium (800 Bukit Batok West Ave 5, Singapore 659081)
Time Slot 1: 5pm - 8pm (Saturday, 18 February)
Time Slot 2: 8pm - 6am (Saturday to Sunday, 18 - 19 February)
Time Slot 3: 6am - 10am (Sunday, 19 February)

Links
Register | Facebook

A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 
We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.

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