Lessons on Winning and Losing

It is in Ewan's blood, brain and ego to want to win in everything he does. 

Why does it matter if Faye reaches the door first? Will it hurt if someone else presses the lift button before him? Why is it not okay to be second best or even last? Life isn't always about winning because when you lose, you win some too.

It came to a point when I thought enough was enough. Today was the day and I told the children a story. 

"Back when I was a teenager, I ran for my school. Long distances, short distances, I will always be seen on the track. I have strong competitors but as I trained, the only competitor I saw myself having was this girl called Wani. 

She was a very good friend but on the track, we were only focused on the win. No chats, just serious warm ups and eyes on the prize.

The whole school was cheering for us and we were trying our utmost to bring glory to our respective classes. We were neck-to-neck! Pushing our bodies over our limits to cross that line! Then the unforseen happened at the last 100m sprint. 

Wani tripped and fell!

The crowd gasped and I stopped! I remember the exact moment when I turned my head and looked straight into her eyes. She wasted no time and shouted back with a hand gesture, "Run! May! Run!" A million thoughts flooded my mind in that one second! 

I was ready to pick her up where Wani fell but the moment she spurred me on to go on ahead, I dashed for the win." 

I asked Ewan and Faye.

Is it more important to help my friend who fell or bring home that championship cup?

I was so relieved to hear my son say, "You should have picked your friend up."

Yes I should! I felt quite terrible winning the race without Wani. It was not a true win for me and I know I would have felt better if I had held her up to finish it together. Even if we came in last, the win for friendship and sportsmanship would mean a lot more than that cup.

There was another time when I played it down in a long distance competition because another good friend of mine was chasing me really hard, trying to get to the Top 3. As I sprinted, I thought about the number of trophies I already owned and decided to slow down for her to take over. I didn't tell her I did that of course and I felt good for not being greedy. Then again, if she knew about it today, she would have felt like crap I'm sure.

How should we make decisions? Based on the happiness of others or of our own?

Whatever it is, I do not want my children to be sore losers. Nor do I want them to focus on the win so much, they lose compassion along the way. The human world is a mess. 

Don't make it worst!

Faye couldn't stop asking me if Wani's knees were okay and if someone took a wet towel to clean it up for her. "Did she put on a plaster?" she added. *hahah* She's cute in her own way but I am glad my three year old paid attention to the story I just shared. 

I hope they remember the moral of this story and if they forgot along the way? I've got this article to pull out for them to read again. 

Daddy, however, frowned upon what I was trying to preach. He felt that there was nothing wrong winning it and leaving my friend behind since she already egged me on to do it. He added, "Do you think Federer play it down or be upset about winning the Wimbledon because Nadal was injured and wasn't up to the game?"

I said Maybe Yes?

He said No Way! 

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.