Life Beyond Grades: No Academic Enrichments for Pre-Schoolers

Posted by May September 05, 2018

Life Beyond Grades: No Academic Enrichments for Pre-Schoolers

Life Beyond Grades is about flying without wings

We do not send our children to academic enrichments because we do not believe a pre-schooler should be subjected to weekends spent at classes after classes. We believe in spending family time together at playgrounds, watching movies, napping, swimming and just having pure fun laughing our Saturdays and Sundays out. That's our prerogative.

But more importantly, we do not want to fall into the trap of being Tiger parents. I must admit there was a fleeting moment when I wavered. I thought about the possibility of sending Ewan for Chinese academic enrichment when one too many moms asked if Ewan was attending Berries [a Chinese enrichment centre]. I directed my concerns to the husband and his response, "Of course not! We will gauge his academic abilities when he enters Primary One. There is no need to over-prepare him for school. I believe in your son and if he cannot cope, which I believe he can, we will talk about tuition then. Not to make him smarter but just for him to keep up if he cannot."

Topping that up, Ewan's Chinese teacher had always been telling me at PTMs, "不用啦。他不会有问题的。还那么小，就让他享受做孩子的特权吧。" translating to "He will be alright. He's still so young! Let him enjoy his childhood."

The problem with today's high standards of education in Singapore's education system stems from us.

The Parents.

If we can admit that, we will stop blaming the system.

We are part of today's problem! And so, we can be the solution.

Don't ask the Ministry of Education, "Can you do away with examinations?"

Do: Let your children enjoy learning at the pace they are comfortable with.

Food for thought. Do we really believe that our six year olds prefer heading into a "fun" academic enrichment class over spending a good time with mom at the pool? I refuse to succumb to parental peer pressure. I refuse to believe that a top student will definitely succeed in life. I refuse to believe that without tuition, my children are set towards dooms day.

Life Beyond Grades is about making funny faces

Over preparing our children for primary school may lead to other issues like boredom. But the biggest issue is spiralling our education level of standards in an upward trend to cater to over smart kids! I do agree children are smarter with each evolving generation but do not exploit that by overloading them with more than their physical age or brain deserves.

I discussed the notion about tapping onto our children's full potential with the husband one night in bed. What if ours have super brains and if we do not grill them enough or help them reach their full potential, are we doing them justice?

I concluded that if we had genius children who have a wealth of potential to be tapped, I would rather be led by the kid. Just like weaning a six month old baby, I rather be baby led. The ultimate aim is for them to enjoy what they are working hard for. Definitely not for them to work hard for mom and dad.

Don't be mistaken. I am not saying children can start being quitters under my wing just because I believe in the kid-led concept. Everything comes with commitment and responsibility. When Ewan says he wants to pick up piano, I will not allow him to quit three months in just because he is tired of practicing. Everything comes with a price and working hard for something is fundamental. To be fair, my rule is to commit for one year before telling me this is not the thing for you. If a year later, he wants to change to another musical instrument, that is totally acceptable. He is two years into piano now and I will give him full autonomy to take or not take the ABRSM examinations. I hated the exams as a kid and will not subject the same stress to mine if he only wants to learn music for fun.

Life Beyond Grades is about getting the right balance and still succeed

What does a six year old need to already know?

1. How to make their own beds

2. Wash the dishes

3. Make a sandwich

4. Bathe unsupervised

5. Know how to make an emergency call

What does a six year old not need to know?

1. Division

2. Composition

3. Coding

4. Intensive Mental Sums

5. Photographic Memory

The amount of intensive hours spent in primary schools are more than enough to tire a young child out - mentally and physically. So why is it parents are rushing them through lunch and putting them in yet another 90 minutes of class? As opposed to... an afternoon nap?

Back to the issue of spiralling our education level of standards in an upward trend to cater to over smart kids. We made these kids too smart by academically exposing them too much. In turn, the education system had to cater to these smarts by upping the standards in school. Can you see the vicious cycle? Yet, only the privileged will win it all. They have the spending power to have their kids tutored in every subject to "give them an edge" over others.

How about those families with lower social economic status? What are we doing for them as they suffer from this stressful education system that parents had caused? This was one of the questions we raised in our closed door discussion with the Minister of Education, Mr Ong Ye Kung. What criteria does one job applicant need to land himself in his dream job? A for grades or A for Aptitude and Attitude? We all know the answer to this.

In 20 years time, our World will be a very different place powered by the World of Artificial Intelligence. Soft skills and EQ are necessary ingredients towards success. With that, we need to shift our mindsets on how children of today should be raised and what kind of education do they really need!

I was recently sent this:

A Primary Two Math Question:

Vince has 2/9 of Harry's money.

If Harry has $108,

how much must he give Vince

so that both will have the same amount?

This is the problem of over-smarting our children even before formative school starts - the questions in school get harder just to cater for today's children! Is this a real life question for our children to survive as an adult? Actually, in the "real life" today, we use Google and calculators. There hasn't been a need for me to apply differentiation or simultaneous equations to engage in a networking social event thus far.

It takes a brave parent to not succumb to what everyone else are doing. It can be really hard because we are afraid we are not doing our children justice if we do not prepare them enough. Well, I say I will not be doing my child justice if he had to live by my expectations of him/her. And the first step to step away from the grade chase is to exit out of your Tiger Mom group chat and hang around with chill parents like myself *haha* This is the advice of Minister Ong Ye Kung, "Exit out of those stressful WhatsApp Group Chats!"

I remember when Ewan was three years old, I was added to a group chat that read, -Name of Pri School- 2019 P1 Cohort. My jaw dropped. My child doesn't even know how to write his name and still honing fine motor skills! There I got added into a group chat with 50 other parents who were so pressurised into getting into their dream primary school [not their children's dream for sure], they had to start a group chat four years before Primary One starts? I had myself exited in 5 seconds.

This mom here, me, is determined to give her children a childhood. One that allows them to enjoy school, enjoy life and enjoy being children with lots of rest after six intensive hours of school. And with that, I cannot succumb to peer pressure by other parents. If I did, my family will suffer. Not going to lie, the Primary School education is going to be tough but I won't let it force me to over prepare a child just from hearsay.

The Ministry of Education believes in Life Beyond Grades too! But who needs to work hand in hand in this? Parents - Schools - Employers.

Did you know the reason for MOE's introduction to Direct School Admission [DSA]? It was birthed to recognise children who excel naturally outside academics. We say our ministry is myopic and want only to produce book smart kids. But that is on the contrary. They want also to give children who are good in other skills a chance to progress and so DSA was the solution to look beyond PSLE grades to land them in Secondary Schools of their choices - Sports School, Arts School, etc. Yet, Tiger parents are expecting more from their poor children to excel in both academics and non-academics which drove this program to backfire. Parents are now producing A-star children in English, Math and Chinese with A-star calibre for sports, dance or art for the Just In Case moment. That leaves only one thing behind - stressed out children who many not necessarily be happy. This wasn't what the Ministry wanted.

Did you know? The Columbia University researchers Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck found that children who were praised for their intelligence, as compared to their effort, became overly focused on results. Following a failure, these same children persisted less, showed less enjoyment, attributed their failure to a lack of ability (which they believed they could not change), and performed poorly in future achievement efforts.

Life Beyond Grades is all about hugs

Let us not send whining children to tuitions or leave them in bucket of tears when we teach them Spelling or 听写? It is inevitable we get academic work done at home as our children grow into the system year after year. But it is also possible we take a step back as parents to watch ourselves when we help them through their homework. I understand and I know [I know because I am guilty] that it can be so frustrating for parents especially when your kid obviously knows the answer to 10 + 1 but tells you repeatedly, "I don't know." We get mad because they are not even trying but take a step back. Our children is telling us this is not my golden hour to concentrate. Go take a break, play, swim and come back again more productive.

I will try to coach Ewan and Faye for as long as I possibly can. Until the day I think they cannot cope with school or I am no longer smart enough for the Primary School questions set out to them, I will probably need to outsource. Keeping in mind that the outsourcing is only to help them with basics and not outsmarting themselves. Other then that, I will let their teachers do their job.

LIFE BEYOND GRADES:

Born a Dragon but Opted for Phase 2C over Alma Mater, ACS

My Children, They Are Privileged

Taboo Words At Home