Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
This morning, Faye accidentally called me an idiot. Actually, it was a slip of a tongue and she didn’t mean it. She is a good girl and she knows what words are not allowed to be spoken at home [or even to people outside of our home].
“Take this young lady” she recently told me. She would laugh listening to her own language, speaking like an adult to me. I’m fine with it. We laughed together.
She was coming out of the toilet today and laughing at something we said. But she went, “No no no you idiot” to me. She probably wanted to use the word "knucklehead" or something but...
OOPS!
Then I asked her what was it she said because I wanted to address it. Faye did not want to talk about it though. She kept saying, "Nothing." However, mommy will not let it go at "Nothing". I find it crucial to discuss things like these and make sense of it together.
I told her it was ok that it was a slip of a tongue and that bad tv content teaches bad stuff. The reason why we control TV content. I do know we will not be able to control everything because environmental factors cannot be censored. Thus, I explain to them why certain words are harmful and when said, can be hurtful.
She cried immediately because she was scared. Guilty.
I sat on the floor with her. All I ask for was an apology but she refused to apologise.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word!
That’s when the whole house experienced meltdown from her. Her crying and crying, me not letting her leave the home until she apologises. She was getting nervous because she did not want to be late for school.
I made Meyer send Ewan to school first which he did. I even schooled my husband because he was helping her get ready for school so no one will be late. Whatever it is, without an apology, she is not going anywhere. We cannot just brush character building aside for academics?
I told her academics is no longer important if she doesn’t even know how to 做人. I don’t need a Straight As student but one who has good character. So I have no qualms with her not going to school today until she apologises for a mistake she made.
That made her cry harder of course. She didn’t want to play truant nor be late for school. That said, this lesson had to be taught. It is very important to me. Her apology finally came and I got her through the school gate right before it closes. Tied her hair and hugged her before she went it.
Dad: The whole corridor knows what’s happening to you both this morning already lah!
Mom: I shouldn’t be embarrassed for trying to educate my child? No I refuse to be embarrassed. I wasn’t throwing pans and going crazy. I did no wrong being stern and staying firm. She’s the one who should be embarrassed for wailing.
I will always choose the harder way to live if I have to impart a lesson or two. It is of course so much easier to go “Don’t do that again” and go along on our way. Yet, I can’t. Not because I’m irrationally stubborn. But because, "I’ll fight it now with you so you will not suffer in life from a weak foundation."
What can I do to make Sorry an easier word to say? I shall start by example and apologise more for the things I've done wrong.
Hear mama's words and remember them Faye. It isn't about saying the wrong word, here in this case "idiot". It is about owning up to your mistakes.
Love you always.
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