Stranger Danger - As a Stranger
Following up on my sharing of how I lost my son to a stranger, he did it again at another birthday party over the weekend. He approached a stranger at another private birthday party [also at a condominium's function room] to open a sweet for him. I remind him every single day about stranger danger and yet, he replied, "But. He didn't take me away!"
We told him again that he can approach mom or dad to open it for him. Not a stranger please? There are many other uncles and aunts there that he knows too but he chose to go up to the most strategically located person for help i.e. right before his eyes.
Here's some noteworthy points to observe when you are an adult stranger yourself. No matter how kind you might be, please be tactful about how you portray yourself as a stranger to others.
Here's some noteworthy points to observe when you are an adult stranger yourself. No matter how kind you might be, please be tactful about how you portray yourself as a stranger to others.
As a Stranger,
1. Do Not Offer Food To Other Children Without First Asking Their Parents - this is not about being anal. Granted, I'm not keen in shoving snacks and sweets into the hands of my children but I can be flexible at times - when they are at parties, when they are well-behaved and when they are not coughing. However, always remember that this adorable little kid in front of you could be allergic to nuts, dairy or eggs which may cause irreversible damage. Always have this habit of telling that child [stranger of not], "Please ask your Mommy or Daddy permission first okay?" and take the lead from the adults [not the child].
2. Do Not Bring Someone Else's Kids To A Park Without Personally Asking Their Parents - this is how Ewan went off with a stranger to the playground. The man, a father, spoke to Ewan disapprovingly when I found them, "I thought I asked you if you checked with your mom and you said yes?" So... he brought Ewan to the playground with his daughters after making sure my son checked with an adult. Unfortunately, my over-charged excited four-year-old blurted out a YES in an instant because he wanted the playground so very much. I was not mad at that stranger but his comment to Ewan was unnecessary. I apologise if I seemed rude from ignoring him but I was in the midst of reprimanding my child and because it wasn't in his place to question my son. Always remember to take the lead from the adult and not the child. We should know better.
3. Do Not Touch Another's Child - we get that a lot! Not only in my country but while we are on a holiday as well. I am quite chill about it actually but not the hubs. His opinion, "I don't know what this person just touched and what right does he/she have to caress the cheeks of my children?" We know how adorable some babies are and their cheeks can be totally irresistible to pinch. Yet, why can't we interact or pass our compliments to their parents without laying fingers on their hands, cheeks, hair and chubby thunder thighs? Let us be tactful. That child could be sickly and any contact with germs could be quite harmful.
4. Do Not Judge Other Children - you could be out at the playground with yours and you witnessed a brawl. It involved your children with another. With the bad quality of food we consume daily, our polluted environment and the rising high on diseases, the child who started the fight could be suffering from autism, delayed developmental delay or sensory processing disorder. When Special Needs look Normal, they get judged almost immediately. Them not having one arm less or a distorted face do not mean they are not Specials. Let us try to be more tolerant of others and think how hurtful it may be if we protected our children without first thinking through the best course of actions. To add on to this, before we deem another child rude from not answering our questions, remember: You Are A Stranger.
5. Do Not Forget That You Are A Potential Threat - in the past, there is no threats in strangers [or maybe way less]. Two or more generations ago, doors are kept wide open and neighbours stream in and out of each other's houses at ease. No one is on guard with the next person and conversations strike up easily. Adults pass candies to children and were all seen as that "friendly aunty". In recent years with all the kidnapping stories we hear, strangers are now threats. They can be dangerous and there is no longer things like Safe Strangers anymore because these conmen can camouflage their identities by posing as Policemen or Firemen. We now wonder if that sweet is coated with poison or that casual ruffle on the hair could be a tactic to lure our children away. So, don't get too upset if other moms pull their children away from you. They are just protecting their brood.
I think I might forget these five golden rules even though I thought through these carefully on my own. It is important to keep these rules at close watch and make sure I do not cause any anxiety to any parent out there. We all have a role to play in this world.
Of all said and discussed, remember that every good friend was once a stranger and the kindness of a stranger can sometimes be dependable. Decipher carefully.
4. Do Not Judge Other Children - you could be out at the playground with yours and you witnessed a brawl. It involved your children with another. With the bad quality of food we consume daily, our polluted environment and the rising high on diseases, the child who started the fight could be suffering from autism, delayed developmental delay or sensory processing disorder. When Special Needs look Normal, they get judged almost immediately. Them not having one arm less or a distorted face do not mean they are not Specials. Let us try to be more tolerant of others and think how hurtful it may be if we protected our children without first thinking through the best course of actions. To add on to this, before we deem another child rude from not answering our questions, remember: You Are A Stranger.
5. Do Not Forget That You Are A Potential Threat - in the past, there is no threats in strangers [or maybe way less]. Two or more generations ago, doors are kept wide open and neighbours stream in and out of each other's houses at ease. No one is on guard with the next person and conversations strike up easily. Adults pass candies to children and were all seen as that "friendly aunty". In recent years with all the kidnapping stories we hear, strangers are now threats. They can be dangerous and there is no longer things like Safe Strangers anymore because these conmen can camouflage their identities by posing as Policemen or Firemen. We now wonder if that sweet is coated with poison or that casual ruffle on the hair could be a tactic to lure our children away. So, don't get too upset if other moms pull their children away from you. They are just protecting their brood.
I think I might forget these five golden rules even though I thought through these carefully on my own. It is important to keep these rules at close watch and make sure I do not cause any anxiety to any parent out there. We all have a role to play in this world.
Of all said and discussed, remember that every good friend was once a stranger and the kindness of a stranger can sometimes be dependable. Decipher carefully.
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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life.
We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.
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