Turning Thirty-Four


I contemplated about writing. Simply because, I was tired. I had been surprisingly patient with the children for a very long while. Three and a half years to be exact. However, I am finding myself losing it a lot more quickly the last month. I knew I was totally jaded when I had the urge to throw things off the table and did my craziest [scariest] scream at the children a few weeks back which ended up with me crying in a corner. I felt like a Monster and I hated hearing myself scream at my children. Persistent disobedience drove me up the wall. Sure, my three year old is going through a stage where exploration and pushing the limits take the driver's seat. I, as his mother, should know better so I blamed it on exhaustion.

A mother needs to be strong, appreciative, creative, humorous, loving and involved. I've never liked adorning myself in any of those superhero costumes or memorabilias. Yet, I found myself bagging away a Superman vs Flash ladies tee from the DC retail store. After those on-the-brink-of-turning-into-a-hulk moments with the kids, I needed some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy to tell myself how Super [patient] I can be. The kind that can be worn but not inked like a tattoo. So, this DC Comics crop top works splendidly for me. Look at me from the front, you see me as a Supermom! Walk behind me and you'll see me as Flash. Moms are such - Super, Efficient and Strong.


The husband and son has a matching Superman tee each. I had intended for us all to head out today as a SuperTeam with Faye wearing a Superman cap on her head. Then I scrapped it, not liking the idea of matching up and looking exactly the same. Besides, it is my day isn't it? I deserve to be the only Super member in the family!

I love photography and I love my family. I am very fortunate that my husband, parents and in-laws have given me all that I need. In fact, I want nothing more. I learnt that contentment sets me in a place that benefits not only me but everyone around me as well. What do I want for my birthday? For many years, I have no answer to that. I have turned from wanting material items to the intangibles. Non-physical gifts like a holiday, a musical, an experience or something like we've done this morning - a trip to the historical former Tanjong Pagar Railway Station.

I've broached the intention to visit the railway station before but the husband said, "Oh no... I'm not going to squeeze with the crowd just to see tracks." Us making this trip would be my birthday gift for the year. It started to drizzle and my hopes of bringing home framed-worthy pictures were dashed. The husband continued his drive relentlessly against the sprinkle of rain and assured me that my morning visit to RPRS will be realised.

When we arrived, I recall sitting on one of those wooden benches for waiting passengers to rest their feet. I did not like the echoing noise from everyone's chatters in that ticketing hall. It was hot and non-airconditioned, there were cockroaches and really, I never appreciated the building. Only when it turned Historical did I look at it again from a different vantage point. It is a beautiful asset. For a vehicle lover like Ewan, he was excited to walk on the tracks. I was certain Faye's way too young to understand our little adventure. Yet, when I played back the day's photographs for them to see, she went, "Train!".






Sometimes I wonder if my pursuit in taking great shots of the children is meaningless. After all, I am the only one enjoying it. My subjects are sometimes reluctant and mostly indulging me of my passion [uh-hmm addiction]. Despite that, I love [and probably live] to document memories like these. We've done it so many times that Meyer has now become really good with his photography and directional skills. He used to start off as someone who gets all ten shots deleted because they were either blurred, crooked or unflattering. Today, I trust him enough to not check every picture during our shoot-out.

I do not set resolutions because I am not one who remembers to keep up. There is, however, one thing I want to welcome 2016 with. I want to give myself an emotionally healthy May; one who rests enough so that Ewan, Faye and Meyer can thrive on. So just a few important changes for this new year: filling up the husband's love tank and gifting myself with more space and time while letting the children explore their world on their own in pre-school.

It was so hard to let them go at 19 months old but I believe I can deal with half a day's absence from home. Remember May, you need chicken soup for your soul too.


Read Also
3 Jan 2015

Historical Tanjong Pagar Railway Station opens during public holidays and information on opening hours will be announced at Singapore Land Authority Facebook Page.

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We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.


Comments

  1. Hey Babe

    Love that tee!! so apt! every supermom shld get it! mayb i should get one for myself. Only problem i don't have such a washboard ab like yrs! haha ...n yes, we have to remind ourselves to breathe n chill. with the terrible 3s and the horrible 4s or whatever u call it, it's not easy but i'm sure u r doing great! I found myself screaming a lot at the kids this half a year too. n m extremely impatient with Big K so much so i impeded her learning. I blame it on the many things I've to handle (namely, the many shifts) but i think i've also got take a step back n breathe. N i totally hear you wrt to intangibles. With the hubs always not around, all I want is a simple day out at times. To a better 2016, Super May!

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    1. You can always wear a singlet underneath. Anyways I don't have a washboard too hahah I just wear a high-waisted pair of pants! You are definitely having too much on your plate. I hope you find time to re-arrange some chores! Happy New Year Janice!!!

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  2. The top looks great on you and the meaning behind it is so cool :) Thanks for sharing so candidly about your ‘monster moments’ as I have been experience quite a few of them myself over the last few months and I felt HORRIBLE. My hubs sat down with me and we had a long heart-to-heart talk one night. We promised to show more love and care towards each other and build each other up when times get tough. Cheers to a new year dear! And please continue to take and share awesome photos of your lovely family, I definitely enjoy looking at them!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and how you've shared with me about enjoying my photos =) I am glad you both took the time to talk about it and make the effort to work together towards a better relationship. Which is so very important because a strong relationship makes up a very happy family. That's the best gift for Laurent!

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  3. Hey, Super Mummy! Happy Belated Birthday. Well, 3 is really a tough age. we should all gives ourselves big pats on our backs and say we made it this far...

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    1. Hey Fellow SuperMom! Thank you for the greeting! hahah 3 is a tough age. To think we heard mostly about the Terrible Twos and how quickly we hope it will pass. In fact, Terrible Two past and I was beginning to like the age 3! Alas... hahah Pat you on your back first. You made it further =) But you've got one more little one.... *yikes*

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  4. I'm a closet model wannabe and always dreamed that I'll be able to have perfect shots for my albums with my family and kids. Instead for the past 4 years, I've only got less than 10 good shots of me with my girls, mostly selfies or candids. So our albums are mostly random and big head shots. Now I am trying to document our memories with videos instead, going to be needing lots of disk space to store all those videos!

    Awesome photos you've been capturing of your family. Everyone look super good on camera and very cooperative (though we all know this doesn't happen often). Keep shooting and keep indulging your "addiction". These photos will be very precious in years to come.

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    1. Closet model wannabe hehehe Yes! I see that you are whipping our videos ay? I find videos very hard to edit! Takes up a lot more time and energy than still pictures. In fact, you need to start planning your loving shots from the time you shoot till the time you edit. WOW! A LOT OF TIME too besides SPACE?

      Thanks for your compliments and for understanding the difficulties behind each photograph. hahaha

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  5. Lovely family photographs at the historical Tanjong Pagar Railway Station. You should get them printed out and frame them up in your house. :)

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    1. Thank you! Yes I should get around to doing that soon =)

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  6. I always love reading your blogposts and admiring your awesome photos, the kids cooperate with mummy (most of the time, yeah)! The Tee is so cool, I want one too!!!

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    1. Thank you Danessa for always being so supportive.

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  7. I totally dig your photos and they are really LOVELY, so no.. you are not the only one indulging in them! I totally understand the need to let out that scream too, we mothers, however how super, will lose it in some moments too. Don't bash yourself up over it and I am sure the kids will understand too.

    Hang in there, doing super awesome and great!

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    1. Thank you Cherie.. I am so afraid of SCARRING (not scaring) them. Especially that look on Faye's face when she innocently had to hear me scream at her brother when she didn't do anything wrong. Sobs!

      Thanks for liking the pics!!

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  8. Lovely pictures taken and you should continue taking pictures of your children to document their growing up years. Something worthwhile doing and enjoy parenthood.

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  9. Photographs are never meaningless - they are a time capsule! Your kids will thank you for capturing all these memories.

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    1. I hope they will! I make it a point to show them all the pictures we took on a slideshow after that =)

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