Turning Thirty-Four

I contemplated about writing. Simply because, I was tired. I had been surprisingly patient with the children for a very long while. Three and a half years to be exact. However, I am finding myself losing it a lot more quickly the last month. I knew I was totally jaded when I had the urge to throw things off the table and did my craziest [scariest] scream at the children a few weeks back which ended up with me crying in a corner. I felt like a Monster and I hated hearing myself scream at my children. Persistent disobedience drove me up the wall. Sure, my three year old is going through a stage where exploration and pushing the limits take the driver's seat. I, as his mother, should know better so I blamed it on exhaustion.

A mother needs to be strong, appreciative, creative, humorous, loving and involved. I've never liked adorning myself in any of those superhero costumes or memorabilias. Yet, I found myself bagging away a Superman vs Flash ladies tee from the DC retail store. After those on-the-brink-of-turning-into-a-hulk moments with the kids, I needed some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy to tell myself how Super [patient] I can be. The kind that can be worn but not inked like a tattoo. So, this DC Comics crop top works splendidly for me. Look at me from the front, you see me as a Supermom! Walk behind me and you'll see me as Flash. Moms are such - Super, Efficient and Strong.

The husband and son has a matching Superman tee each. I had intended for us all to head out today as a SuperTeam with Faye wearing a Superman cap on her head. Then I scrapped it, not liking the idea of matching up and looking exactly the same. Besides, it is my day isn't it? I deserve to be the only Super member in the family!

I love photography and I love my family. I am very fortunate that my husband, parents and in-laws have given me all that I need. In fact, I want nothing more. I learnt that contentment sets me in a place that benefits not only me but everyone around me as well. What do I want for my birthday? For many years, I have no answer to that. I have turned from wanting material items to the intangibles. Non-physical gifts like a holiday, a musical, an experience or something like we've done this morning - a trip to the historical former Tanjong Pagar Railway Station.

I've broached the intention to visit the railway station before but the husband said, "Oh no... I'm not going to squeeze with the crowd just to see tracks." Us making this trip would be my birthday gift for the year. It started to drizzle and my hopes of bringing home framed-worthy pictures were dashed. The husband continued his drive relentlessly against the sprinkle of rain and assured me that my morning visit to RPRS will be realised.

When we arrived, I recall sitting on one of those wooden benches for waiting passengers to rest their feet. I did not like the echoing noise from everyone's chatters in that ticketing hall. It was hot and non-airconditioned, there were cockroaches and really, I never appreciated the building. Only when it turned Historical did I look at it again from a different vantage point. It is a beautiful asset. For a vehicle lover like Ewan, he was excited to walk on the tracks. I was certain Faye's way too young to understand our little adventure. Yet, when I played back the day's photographs for them to see, she went, "Train!".

Sometimes I wonder if my pursuit in taking great shots of the children is meaningless. After all, I am the only one enjoying it. My subjects are sometimes reluctant and mostly indulging me of my passion [uh-hmm addiction]. Despite that, I love [and probably live] to document memories like these. We've done it so many times that Meyer has now become really good with his photography and directional skills. He used to start off as someone who gets all ten shots deleted because they were either blurred, crooked or unflattering. Today, I trust him enough to not check every picture during our shoot-out.

I do not set resolutions because I am not one who remembers to keep up. There is, however, one thing I want to welcome 2016 with. I want to give myself an emotionally healthy May; one who rests enough so that Ewan, Faye and Meyer can thrive on. So just a few important changes for this new year: filling up the husband's love tank and gifting myself with more space and time while letting the children explore their world on their own in pre-school.

It was so hard to let them go at 19 months old but I believe I can deal with half a day's absence from home. Remember May, you need chicken soup for your soul too.

Read Also

3 Jan 2015

Terrific Thirty-Three

Historical Tanjong Pagar Railway Station opens during public holidays and information on opening hours will be announced at Singapore Land Authority Facebook Page.

Like Us on Facebook if you enjoyed the read!

A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 
We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.