Hearts are Gender-Neutral. What Happened Along the Way?

Hearts are for Girls!
Pink is for Girls!
Dolls are for Girls!
Hugs are for Girls!

Boys Don't Cry!

Oh dearie me. Hugs are for everyone; not just for girls. And please allow your sons to cry!

If people see two girls holding hands, they deem that as acceptable. But when two boys are seen holding hands, they are winced upon. Why? Societal norms. 

Ewan and his Primary One buddies hold hands. Not just in a line going from classroom to classroom but I see them holding hands as they walk out of school too. In a crowd of happy kids rushing to go home, these two boys didn't want to lose each other. I see it more of a way of protecting each other from a stampede. I find that a really nice gesture besides resting each other's arms on the other' person's shoulders. It's an exemplification of friendship and I am so thankful children this age are still guileless.

I bet Ewan will wince when he read this in his tween. By then, everything we've tried to inculcate about gender-neutrality would have become gender-tainted. Repeat: societal norms and expectations. 

Well it seems it is natural for many boys to gravitate towards superheroes and Barbie dolls for girls, I find many things adults say to children shape them to believe the opening fallacies in this post [hearts are for girls blah blah blah]. The Ewan today already believes hearts, pink and dolls are only for girls. I'm just glad to see a couple of his boy pals in class saw hearts as hearts - a picture of friendship, love and trust. That's it!

How did I chance upon this observation?

Ewan received cards from his male classmates with hearts in them! I felt a sense of relief and pride from this set of boys. Boys can draw hearts in cards and love bars too why not? Love is Love and at this age, it is pure love for friendships.

These cards came about when Ewan's music class was being relieved last Friday. The kids were given a meaningful task to complete during school hours.

“School holidays are approaching and you won’t be seeing your friends for a while. Write a card to one friend to wish him/her a good holiday!” 

Ewan said it was really hard to choose just one friend because many of them are good friends! They play every day in school and support each other in times of need. Alas. He had to choose one and he did. 

Little did he know, he received six cards from six different boys who saw him as a special friend! I wondered how will the rest of them feel when they didn’t receive a card from Mr. Ewan? We decided to make it a weekend activity to write a card each to the rest of his six very kind playmates in school. 

Boys fist bump, fight, push, shove and the next day, they are friends again. As a parent, I am heartened that my son spent the first year in Primary School forging friendships, learning from mistakes and is a favourite person in the eyes of his classmates [not all, just a handful].

This adorable little girl in class told Ewan she likes to play with him too. She has been giving him sweets, snacks and stuff on a daily basis. I reminded my son to get her something to reciprocate her kindness. He was going to give her a pin that day but I forgot to tell him to give it discreetly!

Mom: Have you given her the pin?
Ewan: Yes.
Mom: Other girls asked why they didn’t get one from you?
Ewan: No. Mom: Wow! That’s nice?
Ewan: Because I gave her secretly during recess behind a wall.
Mom: *hahaha* Why did you do that?
Ewan: I don’t want other girls to complain!

He has proven himself capable of empathy and dealing sensitively towards others! In this aspect, he has passed Primary One with flying colours and it's exactly what I had hoped he will learn in his first year. 

It'll be a long while boys think that it's acceptable to draw hearts again in cards [and it'll be for their girlfriends by then]. Embrace the tenderness and loving-kindness in our boys! It is okay to dress them in pink or yellow or orange - Ewan's dad wears this colours too. It is okay to watch Frozen II as a family and let your boy tear at an emotional scene. It is okay for them to draw hearts in cards for their  classmates, be it boys or girls...

And please do not forget to hug your boys. It is not a sign of weakness. It is Love.

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.