In Life, Your Biggest Competitor is Yourself
It took Ewan two years in Wushu to progress from White Belt to Green-White Belt. While many of his peers in other martial art disciplines had changed belts probably up to four times, he only managed one belt colour jump in the same amount of time. I must say, I appreciate the stringent expectations of the art. If Ewan cannot manage the progress, he won't be allowed the progress. His friends in his class were slowly leaving for the next level too but he was still stagnant because that knee lock, that kick and that balance just weren't good enough.
I refrained from words like, "All of your friends are progressing to the next belt already. Shouldn't you put in more effort to move with them?" because we progress not because of shame or peer pressure. I would rather we move forward when he is ready for it.
I refrained from words like, "All of your friends are progressing to the next belt already. Shouldn't you put in more effort to move with them?" because we progress not because of shame or peer pressure. I would rather we move forward when he is ready for it.
As he grew older, I noticed he picked up a lot faster. I came to realisation that maturity plays a big role in everything we learn! While it's true it's never too early to start young, we shouldn't be putting huge expectations on progress if they are not ready for it. Not all are Tiger Woods. Understand that "it is all in the exposure."
Last month, Ewan was encouraged to go for a Wushu competition and grading session. His time has come.
I waited so long to tell him this:
I waited so long to tell him this:
"Oh Ewan. I am so proud of you for earning your Green-White Belt. You worked hard with your own merits to get to where you are. To be able to own this sword today is your achievement and yours alone. Your efforts paid off!"
Doesn't matter if it took him two years? He now knows the rewards hard work brings as he held onto his most prized possession - the sword - close to his heart. The only reason he wanted to take up this sport was for the weapons. When he was told that he would be getting a sword and learning swordplay from the next lesson, he couldn't sleep for days!
[We were told not to take the sword out of its scabbard unless we were in class under supervision. But I relented just once because I didn't want to dampen his feverish anticipation to look at his blade.]
At grading, I couldn't help but criticised him a little, "Aiyo Ewan. You did your 五步拳 too fast! Should have slowed down. You missed your balance and almost fell right?"
He responded with a smile instead [thankfully he saw it as constructive criticism], "Ya! I nearly fall. It's okay lah mommy. I did it."
I let it go.
At the 3rd Wushu Stars competition, Ewan was top form. We were told to arrive early for the contestants to warm up but I knew my son would decline the practice. I've tried with him before on other occasions to practice before any performances but he always said "Don't need. I already know what to do." I learnt to trust him.
[We were told not to take the sword out of its scabbard unless we were in class under supervision. But I relented just once because I didn't want to dampen his feverish anticipation to look at his blade.]
At grading, I couldn't help but criticised him a little, "Aiyo Ewan. You did your 五步拳 too fast! Should have slowed down. You missed your balance and almost fell right?"
He responded with a smile instead [thankfully he saw it as constructive criticism], "Ya! I nearly fall. It's okay lah mommy. I did it."
I let it go.
Ewan showed no nerves that morning on the competition mat [but I'm sure he was nervous in the inside]. He waited an hour and 15 minutes for his turn to perform; dancing on the spot and playing with his tag. Even when his cohort of contestants were 敬礼-ing [bowing] to the judges, he was in the last row watching adverts from the big screen!
He executed well by being one of the youngest with a 8.42 score. That score was impressive considering he beat three-quarter of 哥哥姐姐s to it!
After the competition, they announced only the top three. The rest of the 46 competitors were not ranked but given medals and achievement certificates. Just by hearing the scores, I could tell he probably was ranked 5th. Then I thought silently if I should call the school to confirm because I'd be so proud to know he actually did so well! Truth is, so I can Hao Lian aka show him off.
Growing up, we had always been ranked in school 1/40, 15/40 or 38/40. While this indicates where we stand, it may lead to unhealthy peer comparisons. The tops will be proud to know they are at the top but the bottoms will be demoralised and possibly embarrassed. I say focusing on the learning progress is most important. After all, I am a believer of "You Are Your Biggest Competitor". He defeated himself that day [conquering the crowd, his nerves, his strokes and the judges] by performing the best he ever had!
Growing up, we had always been ranked in school 1/40, 15/40 or 38/40. While this indicates where we stand, it may lead to unhealthy peer comparisons. The tops will be proud to know they are at the top but the bottoms will be demoralised and possibly embarrassed. I say focusing on the learning progress is most important. After all, I am a believer of "You Are Your Biggest Competitor". He defeated himself that day [conquering the crowd, his nerves, his strokes and the judges] by performing the best he ever had!
A few considerations later, I slapped the idea out of my head. Why do I need to know where he ranked? Was that important? Would he like to know? He actually didn't even ask. All he wanted was to be recognised for the efforts he had put in that day.
When his name was called at prize presentation, “EWAN YANG”, he turned around looking for me and gave me a “Is this me?” look. I nodded and waved for him to go get his medal! He skipped and ran ahead for his certificate and medal which he held so proudly in his hand. “You know mom? I thought I wouldn’t be getting anything already because they haven’t called my name after so long.” he shared excitedly. He kept clutching onto his medal because he was so proud of himself. He didn't let any rankings bothered him. It was pure pride I saw on his face when he was being recognised for his hard work.
His grandparent asked him, "So how did you do?"
He replied, "I am Number One!"
When his name was called at prize presentation, “EWAN YANG”, he turned around looking for me and gave me a “Is this me?” look. I nodded and waved for him to go get his medal! He skipped and ran ahead for his certificate and medal which he held so proudly in his hand. “You know mom? I thought I wouldn’t be getting anything already because they haven’t called my name after so long.” he shared excitedly. He kept clutching onto his medal because he was so proud of himself. He didn't let any rankings bothered him. It was pure pride I saw on his face when he was being recognised for his hard work.
His grandparent asked him, "So how did you do?"
He replied, "I am Number One!"
Can a person compete without comparing to others and still be the best?
I was discussing this with the husband in the car yesterday and we brought up the words "Number One", "Champion and "Second Best". Ewan interrupted us five minutes into our conversation,
We laughed because that's so wise!
I love this famous adage, which is often misattributed to Einstein.
Everyone has a different "genius." Comparing yourself to someone else's abilities might mean overlooking what it is you are naturally good at. We're not all made to be rocket scientists? Aim for what you're good at, work hard for what you want, and don't beat yourself up when you can't do everything perfectly.
Well of course all professional sportsman aim to be Number One. Ranked One. Top of the Game. Uno Numero. They have an opponent they need to beat but even so, not first beating themselves.
Michael Jordan [professional basketball player] said, "You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."
Vince Lombardi [professional football player] said, "It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."
Muhammad Ali [professional boxer] said, "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out, it's the pebble in your shoe."
I saved this meaningful life lesson from one of my reads: When we compete against other people, we judge ourselves based on their values and metrics. Life is a competition but it’s not a race against anyone else. The real journey is only against yourself and unrealized potential.
At Rio in 2016, South African swimmer Chad le Clos lost focus on his own race to check out Michael Phelps in the next lane. An example of how comparing yourself to other people’s success affects your performance and holds you back whether or not you are a professional athlete. Jonathan Fader, a sport psychologist who works with elite athletes, said, "Comparing yourself is only good if it helps you motivate... The best athletes have a real hunger to beat themselves."
Your biggest competitor is yourself.
At Wushu, Ewan struggles and frustrations are now taken over by, "Is it Thursday yet? Why so long!" He found his zeal in the art from that Competition and Grading session he attended. Randomly, he would look at his sword, "I am so proud of myself."
He experienced the euphoria of success from all the hard work he had put in. That is exactly what I want him to feel - endurance and hard work reap rewards.
A series of posts on Martial Arts for Kids was penned previously.
I was discussing this with the husband in the car yesterday and we brought up the words "Number One", "Champion and "Second Best". Ewan interrupted us five minutes into our conversation,
"Wait. What are you both talking about? Everyone can be Number One at something but everybody's Number One is different!"
- Yang Ewan, 6 years old -
We laughed because that's so wise!
I love this famous adage, which is often misattributed to Einstein.
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Well of course all professional sportsman aim to be Number One. Ranked One. Top of the Game. Uno Numero. They have an opponent they need to beat but even so, not first beating themselves.
Michael Jordan [professional basketball player] said, "You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."
Vince Lombardi [professional football player] said, "It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."
Muhammad Ali [professional boxer] said, "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out, it's the pebble in your shoe."
I saved this meaningful life lesson from one of my reads: When we compete against other people, we judge ourselves based on their values and metrics. Life is a competition but it’s not a race against anyone else. The real journey is only against yourself and unrealized potential.
At Rio in 2016, South African swimmer Chad le Clos lost focus on his own race to check out Michael Phelps in the next lane. An example of how comparing yourself to other people’s success affects your performance and holds you back whether or not you are a professional athlete. Jonathan Fader, a sport psychologist who works with elite athletes, said, "Comparing yourself is only good if it helps you motivate... The best athletes have a real hunger to beat themselves."
Your biggest competitor is yourself.
At Wushu, Ewan struggles and frustrations are now taken over by, "Is it Thursday yet? Why so long!" He found his zeal in the art from that Competition and Grading session he attended. Randomly, he would look at his sword, "I am so proud of myself."
He experienced the euphoria of success from all the hard work he had put in. That is exactly what I want him to feel - endurance and hard work reap rewards.
A series of posts on Martial Arts for Kids was penned previously.
MARTIAL ARTS FOR KIDS
1. Judo, written by Edwin Wong, father of Elliot Wong [7 years old]
2. Aikido, written by Clement Ang, father of Sze Ern [14 years old] and Sze Zin [8 years old]
3. Taekwondo, written by Ratna Sunil Mishra, mother of Sunay Mishra [9 years old], Suniska [7 years old] and Sujay Mishra [6 years old]
3. Taekwondo, written by Ratna Sunil Mishra, mother of Sunay Mishra [9 years old], Suniska [7 years old] and Sujay Mishra [6 years old]
4. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, written by Tiffany Teo, mother of Chester Zhong [8 years old]
5. Mixed Martial Arts, written by Tracy Lee, mother of Cayden Thong [10 years old]
6. Wushu, written by Liang May, mother of Yang Ewan [5 years old]
6. Wushu, written by Liang May, mother of Yang Ewan [5 years old]
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