I Am So Afraid Of Messing You Up Son

I am so afraid that I'd mess up your innocence along the way as you grow up son. You are the most loving thing I've ever met. 

When your uncle comes home from work, you are the only one running to greet him with a great big koala hug.

When your grandma comes to pick you from school, it makes you so happy you climb over the picket fence and jump into her arms.

When you walk into the house and see your grandfather sitting on the sofa [after not meeting him for a week], you scream at the top of your lungs and hug his legs tightly.

When your daddy leaves home in the morning for work before you wake, you cry because he did not say goodbye. 

When Faye accidentally hit my stomach during rough play [and you already knew I was having menses cramps], you cry because you feel my pain. 

When you say goodbye to your best pal in school, you don't raise one hand up and go, "Bye Bro!". You actually gave a lingering goodbye hug of six seconds in total [to John] and he returned the affection. That's way cooler that "Bye Bro!" in my opinion. You value friendship! And it's so wonderful that you don't feel judged or even judge yourself with "Boys Don't Do Sissy Stuff Like Hugs". 

When I spoke to you about the new Pixar short film titled: Bao 包, you cried because you cannot imagine you will ever leave me.

Your love language is definitely Physical Touch. I hope we don't stinge on hugs and "I Love You"s as you grow up. I am afraid I will mess your affection and innocence up with the wrong parenting style. It’s hard because while you are loving, you are also naughty. Sometimes a bully, so how do I balance on the discipline and love because you are so emotional? But most importantly, we need to appreciate the good out of you. Everything about it.

Today, after a day's play at Universal Studios, you said the sweetest thing to me that I'll always keep etched in my heart. I was carrying a very heavy bag and told Faye not to pull my bag because my shoulder hurts.

You said,

"I will carry your bag for you mommy. Today and tomorrow even though it's heavy because I don't want you to hurt your shoulders. I will carry it because it is heavy. It doesn't matter if my shoulder will be as red as yours. I don't want your arms to be painful. I love you."

Hold my hand no matter how old you are because we love each other. Don't let me feel like I've messed you up somewhere along the way.

You asked me this morning if I will forgive you if you ever forget me when you become an old man. When you asked, you were holding back your tears because you didn't want to ever forget me. Of course I will forgive you son. I wouldn't want to forget you either. 

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.