My Kids Start School At 18 Months Old
Ewan was 18 months old and I was four months pregnant with Faye. My second pregnancy was not at all smooth-sailing. Whoever said that it will only get better, lied. My morning sickness was all of vomiting, dizziness, poor appetite and fatigue. I was lying down most of the time while using eye power to watch my toddler self-entertain his days away.
When things did not get better after the first trimester, my husband and family urged me to send Ewan to a pre-school where he can be better taken care of. Naturally, I was offended! What do you mean? Do you think I am not equipped to care for my own child? I casted that suggestion away just as hard as I hurled the proposal to hire an in-house helper to assist me with our daily needs.
It was such a pressurising decision especially when you get messages on a daily basis from different people - the mother-in-law, cousins [a few], girlfriend, dad, husband and aunties,
"May ah. Send Ewan to school already. And hire a maid. You need this. You cannot do this alone."
YES I CAN! I will show you I can. Frankly, I was not ready to see him go. He was still a baby!
Then one day at my gynaecologist appointment, I was ordered to bed rest as much as possible to not risk a miscarriage. I was leaking amniotic fluid by the day. To be honest, I was crushed. I had to send Ewan to school. It was no longer a choice.
It was two weeks to January 2014 and it would have been ideal to have Ewan sent to Playgroup in the first week of the new year. I succumbed to the idea and started scouting for a pre-school for him. Two weeks? Seriously? Which pre-school would have a slot for him? As if the stars were aligned, we found one that we really liked [huge open compound for free play, no white boards in the Playgroup classroom and very energetic teachers] and they had One Last Seat for the January intake.
No, not cheap. However, considering we had only expenses for one child, my husband felt that he could well afford it.
We opt for the Half-Day childcare option because I needed to see my child more than just a few hours in the night before he goes to bed.
When things turned for the worst for my pregnancy, we had to transit him to Full-Day childcare towards the last trimester before Faye was born. I was eventually admitted to the hospital for total bed rest and could not even leave my bed for a toilet visit. All of 30 days, I was ordered to lie down. There was no way I could be a mother to Ewan over that period. Read: A Blog A Day For 30 Days In Hospital
The childcare fees jumped by the hundreds [S$600 thereabouts] from the transition. I had to do something to lower the cost with the new baby on her way. As the owner of a wedding business, back before I folded it to focus on my responsibilities of being mom, I was considered a Self-Employed. Unfortunately, I do not have a pay check to prove my working status to enjoy the subsidy. I later found out that I could make a statutory declaration of my man-hours at the Supreme Court with a small fee of S$20. As long as I clocked in 56 hours a month, I will be eligible for higher childcare subsidy! Double that of a non-working mom for full-day child care in fact.
Whether you are a working or non-working mother, you are entitled to basic subsidy in full-day. The only difference is "How Much?"
Why did we not consider hiring a domestic helper? A good help would send me lots of relief but if luck was not on my side, I really do not wish to babysit another human being. Besides, being brought up by a maid, I know how lazy and spoilt I can get. I do not wish to see myself become a hands-off mother [which I will]. It is easy to instruct, "Hey Maria, please help me shower Ewan and get him changed for school." when she is readily available for me. I will become that person so it's better we steer clear of that.
Why did we not consider grandparents? My dad is still working and my mom has passed on. My in-laws are full-time carers to three other grandchildren aged three, two and two at that time. Ya! Two of them are twins! I cannot imagine them taking one more under their wing at age 60. That would be too inconsiderate of me.
School sounds like the best option! Provided I find a school that we love. We did.
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Through Ewan's pre-schooling years, I found out that it actually was a good decision to have him sent to pre-school at 18 months old. He was thriving! I see passion in his teachers and that made me felt at ease leaving such a young thing in school in someone else's care. When I was hospitalised, his teacher would get Ewan to hand-make "I Love You Mommy" cards and crafts for his visits to me in the hospital. They were not allowed to give their mobile numbers to parents but Ms Melissa broke the rule a little and brightened my dreary days in hospital with snippets of Ewan in pre-school. She knew how difficult it was for me to have him transited to full day and stayed beyond her working hours to settle crying Ewan into his unfamiliar napping routine. I was touched and most definitely, grateful.
When Faye was turning 18 months old, I knew without a doubt that I should enrol her in Playgroup just like her brother. In my husband's words,
That was how confident we were of the children's pre-school in providing a safe and joyful environment for the first half of the day. With endless school parties like their annual Colour Splash, Pirate and Fairy Tale themes, I couldn't deprive my children of fun like what the husband said.
Three months after Faye was born, I had Ewan converted back to Half-Day because I am a Stay At Home Mother after all! As long as I am able-bodied, I am not giving this opportunity up to spend more time with my children. However, I am also enjoying the half days when the kids are in school. I do need my sanity as well.
We are loving this current arrangement now. Half days in school and half days at home. Perfect.
Why did we not consider hiring a domestic helper? A good help would send me lots of relief but if luck was not on my side, I really do not wish to babysit another human being. Besides, being brought up by a maid, I know how lazy and spoilt I can get. I do not wish to see myself become a hands-off mother [which I will]. It is easy to instruct, "Hey Maria, please help me shower Ewan and get him changed for school." when she is readily available for me. I will become that person so it's better we steer clear of that.
Why did we not consider grandparents? My dad is still working and my mom has passed on. My in-laws are full-time carers to three other grandchildren aged three, two and two at that time. Ya! Two of them are twins! I cannot imagine them taking one more under their wing at age 60. That would be too inconsiderate of me.
School sounds like the best option! Provided I find a school that we love. We did.
---------------
Through Ewan's pre-schooling years, I found out that it actually was a good decision to have him sent to pre-school at 18 months old. He was thriving! I see passion in his teachers and that made me felt at ease leaving such a young thing in school in someone else's care. When I was hospitalised, his teacher would get Ewan to hand-make "I Love You Mommy" cards and crafts for his visits to me in the hospital. They were not allowed to give their mobile numbers to parents but Ms Melissa broke the rule a little and brightened my dreary days in hospital with snippets of Ewan in pre-school. She knew how difficult it was for me to have him transited to full day and stayed beyond her working hours to settle crying Ewan into his unfamiliar napping routine. I was touched and most definitely, grateful.
"You are not going to deprive Faye of fun by keeping her at home are you?"
That was how confident we were of the children's pre-school in providing a safe and joyful environment for the first half of the day. With endless school parties like their annual Colour Splash, Pirate and Fairy Tale themes, I couldn't deprive my children of fun like what the husband said.
Three months after Faye was born, I had Ewan converted back to Half-Day because I am a Stay At Home Mother after all! As long as I am able-bodied, I am not giving this opportunity up to spend more time with my children. However, I am also enjoying the half days when the kids are in school. I do need my sanity as well.
We are loving this current arrangement now. Half days in school and half days at home. Perfect.
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