A Day In The Life Of A Solo-Parent

Saturday

16 September 2017

3.26pm

Sunny

Oh I'm not talking about being a Single Parent; just me solo-parenting for a week before the husband returns home again. It isn't too tough when you've gained invaluable knowledge on parenting alone from one too many business trips on his part. I feel like I've got a pilot for a husband [or maybe worse]. Don't talk about the first half of the year. In September and October itself, he would have been away for 30 days in total. 

Right this moment as I write, I've got one child napping and the other playing alone in the living room. They were both sleeping in the car on the way back from a media event but I had only successfully transferred the daughter from car to bed. All because some guests from my neighbour's party continued to chatter loudly at the lift lobby even though they saw Ewan sleeping over my shoulder. Tsk.

He tried really hard to get back to sleep but couldn't. Feeling thankful right now as he told me to "Go and rest mommy, I'll play on my own." 

I decided to write instead of resting. 

While I didn't plan today to be so hectic, it turned out rather full. Oh actually, more than full. Who lines their day up with five activities back to back? Even so, I will never let them skip their naps.

0800 hours

Thank you children for waking up an hour later than usual. We woke up to a rainy Saturday morning and I wondered if the Skateboard class was going ahead. We lazed in bed discussing on wet weather plans for the morning and ding ding, I've got mail. 

Skate Sports dropped me an email at 0805hrs with a "Rain or Shine! Come on down to class today!" So we jumped out of bed with less than an hour to class commencement and got ourselves ready for skateboarding! Ah.. more like I got the three of us ready to move out. 

Packed the bags, filled the bottles with water, had them changed out of their PJs [I skipped teeth brushing this morning because... well...] and shoved them yoghurt and cereal for breakfast which they ate on the go. 

0856 hours 

We arrived at the skate park and I illegally parked at the side of the road, gearing Ewan up with his guards and helmet at super speed time. I had Faye still buckled in her car seat because releasing her would mean more trouble.

My plan was to quickly hand my son over to his coach and leave with Faye to look for a ERP-operated carpark because my husband hadn't left any S$1.20 parking coupons in his car for parallel parking lots.

Oh but Faye had to cry because she wanted out. I rushed in and out of the skate park in 20 seconds  flat like a crazy woman with the car locked of course. Jumped right back into the car, getting caught by a slight drizzle and whisked us off looking for the cheapest car parking facility in town.

0915 hours

We found a carpark nearby and brought Faye to breakfast even though she had hers. I HAVEN'T had mine mind you? I was looking to dine at a leisurely pace but Faye kept hurrying me because she wanted to hit the skate park with her brother. 

Oh man. I couldn't even finish my tea!

0945 hours

We headed over to the skate park to find Ewan. Because of the rain, the kids couldn't do much at the ramps and were learning the basics of tuning boards by dismantling the wheels and fixing them back again. They finally went back to the outdoors in the last 10 minutes of lesson.

Faye was intrigued and insisted she did some winding of screws. We only spent about 15 minutes there before we left for some shopping at Crate and Barrel because I heard it is a five story furniture shop at Orchard Gateway! Maybe I could find something for our new home? Alas. I didn't. They were too pricey for the budget I have.

The kids weren't too much of a trouble and allowed me to scan each floor. The kind of scanning that doesn't warrant me much time to think if this piece or that was going to suitable for the new home. They looked bored and I was trying to get out as fast as I can lest they break a wine glass. 

1030 hours

We wandered about before deciding on heading elsewhere. 

"Where are we going mommy?" they chirped!

We made our way to Cluny Court. Spurbox is running a Mid-Autumn Festival pop-up from today till 1 October 2017 and as a collaborative partner, I went to cover their event. Have you joined our the giveaway on our Facebook page? We are giving away 5 tickets to any of their craft sessions!

The children participated in their free story-telling session followed by the making of traditional mooncakes and clay bunny activity. Ewan and Faye couldn't stop talking nor could they stop moving. They were bouncing off chairs and inquisitively digging into craft boxes. There were so many moments of, "Please sit down", "Please don't go close to the oven because it's dangerous", "Please be patient".

Even the Spurboxers finally went, "Wah. They are really very active. How do you do it?"

I don't know.

We dated the grandparents for lunch today because they were seeing so little of each other the whole of this week. We had a good time at Relish. I made sure I ordered coffee with my lunch. How else am I supposed to weather through the rest of the day?

1330 hours

Oh yay! The morning was finally over but the second half of the day was looming in. The children were excited of course with swimming and a birthday party to attend. But I was hoping our day was DONE. 

We cannot skip swimming because it is a swim class. 

We cannot skip the birthday party because this friend is too close to heart for me to say, "Sorry we can't be there."

I drove home and saw the kids nodding away in their carseats. PERFECT! I forsee them napping for the next three hours while I work on a blog post I was targeting to publish on Monday morning. 

The unexpected happened as mentioned at the start of this post - Ewan got awakened by the neighbour's friends. 

And I changed all blogging plans to give this A Day in the Life of a Solo-Parent post precedent over what I initially planned for.

1629 hours

I hid in the children's room and wrote. Hoping to publish it before the day ends! Because it is a Saturday, they get some TV time while munching on pineapples and strawberries. We agreed that there will not be any TV on weekdays and so, they are always looking forward to weekends.

While we still have some time before swim class, I made sure I had our luggage packed before our trip tomorrow. Oh... Ya... I am bringing the children on solo-parenting holiday. A short one unlike our big six-day Taiwan trip without daddy last Summer. 

I am a light-packer., This is our "luggage"! All packed into the diaper bag attached to our trusty Stokke. Bow down to me now! *hahahhaha*

Solo-parenting means I am outnumbered and I need to keep my pair of hands free for both the kids. It will be too much for me to handle if I had to carry a bag with me when we head out. Packing the Stokke's diaper bag to the brim with change of clothes, water bottles, wet wipes and all necessities would mean one backpack less for me! Also, it is best I had my kids buckled up and locked in the stroller. We don't really want kids on the loose in a foreign country do we? With our Stokke, I can have Faye buckled and Ewan sitting on the standing board.

Saturday

16 September 2017

10.57pm

Very Dark; Pitch Dark

1745 hours

SWIMMING!

The most exhausting part of swimming is getting both kids showered and changed after class. Plus all the heavy wet suits that require immediate washing before the day ends. Thankful that I didn't have to get wet with them because if I had to, I'd be damned.

1924 hours

We arrived at Ollie's birthday party which is a million miles away from where we lived! Okay... exaggerated but it's at ORTO and really far. When we finally arrived, I couldn't find a parking lot! Gosh what's with this place? "Patience" I told myself. We've come so far into Saturday already and this is the very last lap. It's party, dinner and home - done for the day.

I called Nat [so.natty.sg] to pick the kids from the carpark while I waited indefinitely for a lot. At least they get to play. It's a lot more fun than being buckled up in the car seat waiting for a lot with mommy. They threw their hands in the air with a, "YAY!" when I told them Aunty Nat was coming for them.

When I finally got a lot after 30 minutes, I was half hoping the kids were done with dinner. *hahahah* But that's wishful thinking. So we settled our dinner rather quickly and dashed off to the digger site for some digging fun!

I must Nat, this is your Best Party! Not hot, relaxed, non-claustrophobic and super super chill! The children busied themselves in the diggers and all I had to do was stand around and smile. Faye had Dana to take care of and I feel at ease. Thanks Angie for such a wonderful daughter. She even photographed us so beautifully that I had to use it as the cover picture of this blog post! Faye's very fond of her.

A quick check at the time and it read 2110 hours! Oh My Goodness! TIME TO GO! There are still so much to settle at home before our holiday tomorrow! It takes 30 minutes to get home so we had better start our journey.

2140 hours
We are home.

I prepped the children on the way back, "Are you feeling super happy today? I hope you will follow strict instructions when we get home as because we need to wake really early tomorrow for the trip. So it's Home, Shower and you have to Wash Your Hair, Brush Teeth, Sleep. No books tonight okay?"

They said okay but added a, "Can we have a cookie when we get back? That first and then the rest."

Well, I'm not a mean mom. It's a deal.

They kept to their promise and I had them in bed by 2230 hours!

2245 hours
My chores begin. But I chose to only wash the dishes in the sink and have their wetsuits rinsed and dried. Other than that, the house is still in a mess.

A day in the life of a solo-parent.

To be frank, this is not my typical Saturday. Today had been rather epic as you have read? It sounds like I've squeezed a full week of activities into 12 hours. Why did I do that to myself? Well, none of today's activities could be postponed. You cannot postpone classes and of course you cannot postpone a birthday party.

We made it eventually.

Do I enjoy solo-parenting? No I don't. It sucks but what are we to do? Our children are our responsibilities and no one else's. Even if I am required to split myself in two, I would have to find a way to.

That said, I am also counting my blessings to be able to mother my children full-time 24/7. Oh the irony.

I have such admiration for single-parents. I, at least, have a husband to look forward to by the end of the week. My help and my Best Friend will finally be home even though caring for my children single-handedly 24/7 while he is away is a nutty job. I can do without emotional support for a while but not in the long-term. To my single-parent friends, {{HUGS}}!

Oh I'm so glad I haven't screamed at Ewan and Faye today although I made many If You.... Then... empty threats. I know better not to but well, there were no more brain cells to think of a better solution when faced with defiance.

A pat on your back fellow solo-parenter. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

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