My Drum School: Temporarily Dropping Drums
It is with a heavy heart that Ewan had his last lesson with My Drum School last week. He started drumming with them at the age of six! He is 10 now.
Suddenly dropping it made us [him and I] felt empty.
Yesterday was the first Tuesday he didn’t have drums lesson and he sub-consciously went straight to his drum set to play a couple of songs. His weekly time with the drum set at My Drum School became a habit and he probably felt funny not playing on a Tuesday.
Ewan has so much on his plate - Taekwondo [since 8yo], Drums [since 6yo], Badminton [since 9yo] and Wushu [since 4yo] - and as he progressed through the ranks in his co-curricular activities, more commitment is required of him. Not forgetting school’s commitment. It’s amazing he hasn’t quit what he had requested to start! At least for that, I applaud his tenacity.
Still, it’s time to re-think his scheduling. I am seeing less and less Nothing-To-Do-Time from him and I would like him to have more pockets of time to chill.
At drums, he specifically mentioned he only wants to play for enjoyment. No exams and no recitals. I agree because I remember how exams took away my love for music in piano. Daddy doesn’t agree even though his mom stood behind him with a cane to make him practice his piano every day! “If he doesn’t put in effort to practice or at least, do something with all the lessons he has gotten, isn’t it a waste of money?”
I insisted it wasn’t a waste and I do not require him to practice because I only wanted him to enjoy the music. Yet, I realise, I don’t have so many hundred dollar bills to spend just for his enjoyment at this moment. We are not affluent to that point of expenditure. So I suggested to this boy that we would first drop Drums [one more will follow] but it won't be forever.
To be honest, drums do not take up much time as the lessons are only 30 minutes a week. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm wondering if I made it right by him to suggest dropping drums because
1. It doesn't take up a lot of time
2. He still loves it and did not ask to quit
3. I shouldn't take away something he loves
But music is also something we can always pick up again at any time of our lives regardless of age!
On the other hand, I was also considering to teach him a life lesson through this.
You know how when we lose something, we will treasure it more? I want him to feel the void and if it’s big enough, to tell me himself that he will commit to the music on his own accord and not use the drum set at home as a clothes hanger. We saw no Responsibility in him for his music lessons. He does not practice but he claims that's because his dum set is lousy. No excuse right? Hmmm... Well of course, for a ten year old, whose interests are funded by his parents, it is hard to understand Accountability. I hope to believe that when the time is right, when he is ready to commit to it, that's when he will soar at what he does.
So for now, the idea is to play for enjoyment on his own at home, learn through YouTube or downloaded scores. Even better when he is ready to return as a teenager or young adult, he can pay for his own lessons through his part-time jobs!
Of course I'll be more than happy to fund him again when I see a fervent promise to take charge of his music.
Music is meant to be loved and enjoyed; not a Mom's responsibility to her child's musical journey
When I suggested this to Ewan, he said, "I cannot quit drums mom! My teacher will be sad!” SWEETEST!
Looking back, I remember my mom dropped me from Ballet when I was ten too. I told myself it was only temporary and I will return when I have more time on hand. I was 16 years old when I went back to ballet with a more mature mind. I went back because I wanted to and when we want something, we make good out of it.
I hope it’ll do Ewan good that way too.
And when it's time to return, we will be back in the good hands of My Drum School and his drum educator Wai Kiat. He is the best! His palpable passion for music is contagious and because he is passionate, he puts in extra efforts to understand Ewan and his needs to coach him in a way that would spark interest in him.
Thank you guys! I will always highly recommend you to my friends who are looking to drum.
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