Truths About Your Fourth Trimester

Dear Faye [and my future daughter-in-law],

Daddy and I went on a theatrical date and we caught The Fourth Trimester. I felt compelled to share all these that nobody ever told me when I was pregnant. 

This list isn't to scare you away but to prepare you of what's to come so that you will not get a rude shock when your baby arrives. 

Truths about your fourth trimester [the trimester when your baby is born]: 

- Breastfeeding can be hard because it can be very painful as your baby suckles and overuse your nipples 

- It can cause you fever and infection if you do not empty your breasts in time. It’s called Mastitis and hey, please know that you can continue breastfeeding your baby if you want to… through lots of pain 

- When you breastfeed, and if the baby is suckling well, you might experience excruciating contractions in your womb as though you are going through another labour. That happens for a reason: your body is trying to close the gap caused by pregnancy and bring you back to your usual shape. Yet that comes at a cost. I had to grit my teeth and cry in pain [contraction and sore nipples] just to feed my baby

- You will continue bleeding after birth so you will be wearing thick pads. Endless “menstruation” which will quickly stop only after your baby starts to suckle well 

- You will cry so much over split breast milk but you will soon learn what’s important and what’s not 

- You will suffer from large clumps of hair loss but don’t worry… it should come back to normal after a few months 

- You will be deprived of sleep because the term “Sleep like a baby” is a lie. No babies sleep through the night. They wake you up every 2 hours 

- You may not be able to shower until your husband comes home from work and you may have to gobble your lunch standing up 

- Your husband will come home complaining about how messy the home is and then you will scream back, "MY PRIORITY IS KEEPING MYSELF AND YOUR BABY ALIVE!" That'll keep him quiet for the next 10 years 

- You are not the only responsible party in this family. Train or guilt-trip your husband until he helps out at home with washing, packing, cooking and child-minding

- You will feel guilt, fear, loneliness, doubt and of course joy when they baby finally sleeps 

- You must acknowledge that post-partum depression is beyond your control and it is nothing to be ashamed of

- You will not recognise yourself in the mirror and you will not have anymore social life. But know that you are still YOU in the inside

- You won’t be watching tv for years to come and even if you do, maybe you’ll watch it MUTE like we did 

- You may disable your doorbell and scowl at anyone who knocks on your door or speaks loudly when they come visit 

- You will have new found respect for your mother

Love, Mommy

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