Questions to ask your kid instead of "How's Your Day?"

I enjoyed tonight’s bedtime talk with my firstborn. 

Do your children fill you in with stuff from school every day? I don’t know how or what I did, but the kids are sharing lots with me both Ewan and Faye. 

Maybe it's because I heeded the experts advise to ask specific questions like: 

1. Tell me about the best part of your day. 

2. What was the hardest thing you had to do today? 

3. Did any of your classmates do anything funny? 

4. Tell me about what you read in class. 

5. Who did you play with today?” 

6. Which one of your teachers would survive a zombie apocalypse? Why? [*haha*]
7. Who did you sit with at recess?
8. Was Math challenging or easy?
9. If you could switch seats with a classmate, who would it be and why?
10. How were you brave today?
11. Which friends in class would be Kai, Cole, Jay and Zane?
12. Is there a girl worthy to be Nya?
13. Which area in your school is the most fun?
14. How would you rate your day on the scale of 1 to 10? Why?
15. What was the funniest thing that happened today?
16. What new fact did you learn today?
17. Who in class do you think you could be nicer to?
18. Did anyone tell you "Thank You" today?
19. Did you tell anybody "Thank You" today?
20. Did you help anyone today?

Instead of, “How’s School?” and the reply comes back with a “fine” or “okay”. 

The trick is to ask about things that are specific, but still open-ended [add in a bit of humour to interest them]. I think because of these questions, did I get responses and stories worth keeping.

Anyways, Ewan was telling me all about this boy in class that he is to partner from Mondays to Wednesdays. He would have to hold his hand in the line, take care of him even though he walks really slowly and make sure he doesn’t feel afraid. They speak only in mandarin and he understands that he has to be kind and patient with him. Otherwise, his friend would get frightened.

Ewan told me his friend cried every day for weeks at the start of school. He would wander off and out of the classroom without notice. He would hide behind the curtains at P.E. From the onset, I had been telling my son to include him and make him feel safe. Be his friend. But he only responded, "I don't know how. I'm afraid. He speaks only Chinese."

I'm glad they are friends today.

I asked Ewan what are some of the things they talked about and one of them was, "你要去图书馆吗?" His friend would reply "好" in favour. 

Ewan said it almost with pride, “He is learning English now mommy. I brought him to the library and read him an English book. Two!” And I listened with a swelling heart.

I knew from the sounds of it that this friend is a special but Ewan doesn’t really comprehend the meaning of special. He just knows he’s got to be patient with this friend of his. The way he said it was almost, “He ain’t heavy, he is my classmate.” 

So thankful this opportunity was given to my son to oversee. That impulsive, punk of a roughneck boy of mine can be empathetic and tolerant in situations that require him to. 

Ewan still calls me every day without fail at recess. Once, he told me he bought food for this friend of his and I think it gave him a sense of responsibility. An important duty given to him to undertake which made him feel good about himself. 

He added in tonight's conversation that his special friend walks really slowly though and he himself cannot help but walk faster because he is eager to reach their destination. My word of advice was, "Oh please remember to keep him safe. And keep yourself safe too. I don't want any of you to fall and get hurt. If he walks slowly, you walk slowly too. There's no hurry in life. Okay?"

I saw these two boys walking out of school hand in hand today. The boy’s grandpa was there with me at the school gate to receive our boys. He asked his grandson who did not reply, “你的朋友吗?”  Then turned to Ewan and told him, “谢谢”  

People had been asking me if this was a good choice [of a school] we've made and I holler, "Yes! Would choose this school all over again." 

My child gets the diversity we want him to be exposed to in terms of culture, gender equality, socio-economic status and especially race. Them growing up in an environment that mirrors the social grown-up world is exactly what we wanted for them. I say Yes a million times over!

Hopeful he grows up a fine man despite the two not so positive stories about his behaviour. He blurted out a bad word he thought it meant FUNNY and that vulgarity happens to begin with the letter F too. Argh... I was so disappointed. He said he picked it up from Kindergarten..

"Why did you say the F word Ewan? It is Universally, Internationally, Cosmically THE WORST BADDEST WORD in the whole wide world!" I stressed.

"The school bell rang - ding dong ding dong - and it was SO FUNNY!" he defended.

"Funny say Funny lah! Don't use that word ever again. I forbid it. Your school forbids it. Ditto!" I reprimanded him sternly.

And another occasion, he snatched a colour pencil from a boy in class whom he accidentally scratched. I wondered out loud, "Why did you do that?" He explained to me that he lent his classmate his colour pencil and another boy [who he deemed was a bully] came and snatched it away from his friend! That's not right and he couldn't stand there without doing anything. So he snatched it back.

I've told him for the umpteenth time that if someone did something wrong and he followed suit, what difference is he to them? If he cannot handle it, always get an adult to handle the situation. He tells me his emotions work faster than his brains. He knows but he couldn't control himself. Well, I must say he's learning. His superhero belief to take things in his hand and save the world is strong. We will continue to work on that.

Another time, I saw him standing outside the class with a bunch of boys - getting punished.

What did he do this time? So I asked.

"Oh! *hahah* My friend was running around and when I looked at him, I couldn't help but go catch him! I wanted to catch him" he playfully recounted.

I told daddy I didn't like this track record thus far.

And daddy responded, "Don't you get punished in school when you were young?"

I guess I don't!

There. With the right questions, I trigger lots of stories! Positive or negative, I want to hear them all. Don't you?

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.