How I Met Your Father

Hey kids!

Today, the First of May, daddy and I celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. To fall in love is easy but to stay in love demands a whole lot of effort. Nine years seem long but it really isn't. I want our love to weather all storms because this is the best gift we can give to you both. So fuel that loving feeling is what we shall strive to achieve year after year because we love you with every beat of our hearts.

On our wedding day, we did away with wedding favours and printed 500 magazines for our guests instead. Often, favours were left behind on the table with little meaning tagged to the couple's union. I thought it would be a nicer way to engage our friends and family with our life stories in a way of a magazine. Not a book was left behind. Flip to page 14 and 15 to read about our first impressions on one another, our first date, first surprise and more. [awww just realised not the whole magazine was digitised and shared here. Hopefully I can fix it, otherwise, here's just half the flip!]

Where do I begin.

I am bringing you back to 1998 when your dad first held my hand. I walked into the Center for Computer Studies in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, a nervous freshie and wondered if I will find a friend. There were 20 in a class and 15 were guys. Your father was one of them.

I never took notice of him [or any of the guys actually] because I really wasn't looking for love. Software engineering, binary codes and multimedia aren't the easiest subjects to master so hey, I needed to concentrate on my studies lest I failed my papers! Yet, it was a year when boys took notice of me and started asking for my number. 我踩到了桃花运. However, they were rejected one after another because it was a scary feeling. Scary for someone who had never been in a relationship!

I was once stalked by a boy in school all the way home. He sat behind me in the bus without me realising and alighted with me when I reached my stop. He wanted to be friends and of course, asked for my number! That totally freaked me out and made me even more nervous about Boy-Girl Relationships. I told that boy, "I'm sorry I won't be giving you my number and did you just stalk me? If our paths crossed again in school, we could be friends. But, not like that."

You father, by the way, never once asked for my number even though we were obviously attracted to each other. Numbers in my time were home numbers. I did not own a mobile phone but carried a pager instead [fill you in about pagers another time]. We talked in school and at gatherings.

As fate would have it, we took the same bus to school. I would board Bus No. 61 at Telok Blangah which brings me directly to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. He would board at Holland Village. Well, he could have taken more than one bus to reach school but I think he waited for Bus No. 61 ever since he realised I was in the same bus too. Whenever I was nearing his stop, I would look out for this pony-tailed guy at the bus-stop [your daddy]. This is a funny story to tell and I will never forget that look on his face:

I was seated on the long bench on lower level of the bus. The one that faces another long bench across each other. I saw him at his bus-stop and quickly closed my eyes shut, pretending to sleep. I think I just didn't want to meet his gaze in case he caught that sparkle in my eyes! I was shy. I opened my eyes after the bus moved off and scanned the floor for him. I couldn't find him! I sat upright and craned my neck then slumped back into my seat looking all so disappointed. I might have pouted in dismay. It must be women's intuition that made me turn my head in the other direction I hadn't checked. He was there! He was smirking! An irritating smug! He saw me looking out for him and I was left totally embarrassed.

However, the bus ride was not the first time I noticed him. We were in an English class at school. I turned around to ask a classmate about something I didn't understand but he answered me instead. My first impression was, "This Malay guy spoke perfect English!" Everyone I knew at school spoke Singlish [or Chinese] and I was instantly attracted to this boy who returned my conversation in clean, proper English! I was elated! "Yay! Someone speaks English here!"

One day at Japanese class, a classmate asked if I knew a Meyer Young, a friend he knew from ACS who is in my course. Oh I could vaguely recall. "Ya. Maybe. I think there's a Meyer in my class." Ah so, he is a Young, an Eurasion. That explains why he doesn't look Chinese? But later did I find out that your father was an avid sportsman. He gets really dark in the sun. With big eyes and cocoa-coated skin, I was sure he wasn't Chinese. I found out later that daddy is a Yang not a Young and he is half-peranakan. 

Few months into our semester, we held a class BBQ. That was when I had enough of us not talking outside of school! I asked everyone for their ICQ numbers [but really, I only wanted his]. He, however, does not have one. A speech bubble came up above my head with a "dot dot dot". He took mine down though and the next thing I know, sramrevo [that's his nick] added me. So he must have been attracted to me somehow to download ICQ just to chat up isn't it? He thought I was pretty smart when I deciphered his nick as Overmars, a basketballer in our time. I felt quite smart too although I have/had no idea who Overmars is/was.

We were chatting deep into the nights on ICQ and got to know one another a lot more. In between these chats and meeting one another in class every day, I got little surprise gifts from him in my bag! They were mostly lollipops. I thought they were very sweet even though I really dislike sweet treats. I ate them nonetheless because it was from my crush! It became quite obvious to our classmates that we liked one another and I felt it was mutual too. But your dad! He never quite popped the question,

I was really tired of waiting and took a bold step on ICQ,

"Is there someone you like?" 

He acknowledged he did.  

" Is she in our class?" 

He said yes.

"So, who is that someone?"

Well, he did not give me an answer. One question led to another and three hours passed. I kid you not. I was so very tired and a little bit angry. Is he a man! Why can't he just own up to it that he liked me! Then I typed, "I Like You and I'm so tired I want to sleep now. Good night."

*GASPS*

He said his good night and told me it was I who he liked too. Oh man! Why did he make me say it first! He is so going to pay for this and he's been paying it all his life with me now *haha*

The next day, we met in the bus as usual, walked the pathway up to our block and went to class. Days passed and I was confused about our status. Are we or are we not in a relationship? I am a traditional girl and this is going to be my first relationship if it was to work out. He did not pop the question!

As important as how a man should ask for a woman's hand, I expected him to ask if we should be [officially] going out together from here. Faye, please do not make it easy for the boy who likes you and Ewan, please be a gentleman and do it right. A relationship isn't just child's play. It tugs the heart-strings, emotional and very real.

We went out on three dates at the end of that school week and I clearly remembered the third date being a bus ride from where we lived all the way to Tampines on Bus No. 10. You cannot run away from each other in a bus ride and you have a full hour to communicate. Besides learning Japanese in school, I took up sign-language as well. I was teaching him how to sign when suddenly he held onto my hand and said, "Do you need both hands to sign?" and I was sure I blushed when I said No. Yet, no question asked.

My heart was racing and I queried myself if I should let him hold my hand at all! Did he naively think we are an item with this? We dropped at Tampines just for KFC and took the bus back again but this time, we alighted at Fort Canning Park. He brought me to a park! Sat me down on the bench and kept saying he had something he wanted to ask. Just then, a couple was taking wedding photos on the lawn and he blurted out, "Will you marry me?" and we both broke into a hearty laughter.

I knew he wanted to ask the official question - to being boyfriend and girlfriend but he just couldn't. He was afraid. It took him a full 30 minute to muster all the courage he had to say these seven words,  "Will you accept me as your boyfriend?"

I was over the moon but remember, I said I'd make him pay. *naughty mommy* I did not answer him but instead asked him what did he think my reply might be. That caught him off-guard and he thought about it and went, "7 over 10? No... 6 over 10 you'd say yes?"

I looked at him weirdly because why? I told him I liked him so it should be a 10 over 10! I made him ask me that question again but he took another 15 minutes to do so. He was so serious about this relationship that he became a nervous wreck. Apparently, he had tried to pop the question many times that day but he was not brave enough.

I said Yes to his proposal and your daddy was relieved to tears. He cried. He said he was so happy he couldn't contain his happiness. I say, I found the right boy. I know how much he cherishes and respects me as a person and as a girl. The sweetest thing I found out at the end of the night was the effort he put in that question. Why "Will you accept me as your boyfriend?" and not anything else?

It is because "Will you be my girlfriend?" sounds too possessive and "Shall we go steady?" was just not how he was being brought up. He shared that he worded it as such "Will you accept me as your boyfriend?" because this was not about him but about me instead. A 17 year old boy, mature and considerate like that. I wouldn't let him go. Learn a thing or two from daddy'O my boy.

It was quite fashionable to Break-Up-And-Patch-Back in our days. I do not know how it is now, but we never once broken up even when we had our fights because daddy was always saving the relationship. He said never to talk about breaking up over petty issues because that will only drive us apart. Wise words from a teenager to another.

Your daddy, a sentimental man, would write me poems or send me cards out of the blue. This was an e-card he sent on our first dating anniversary in 1999:

Fast forward 17 years later (today), he had always been making me [us] happy. You must know that your father has dreams and ambitions that he shelved because of us. Every decision is made only after knowing that we will be taken care of. He could be selfish if he wants to, and I sometimes urge him to, but responsibilities kept him thinking for us three every moment. Love your father because I love him too.

This was our first relationship and you two are the testimony of our love. We love you.

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This blog post is part of a blog train hosted by The Chill Mom.

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Next up on the blog train is Madeline, who will be celebrating her 7th wedding anniversary tomorrow! She shares the story of how she met the father of her two kids and how they went from friends to husband and wife.. in cartoon illustrations! When she's not reminiscing, she loves to write about travel and motherhood on her blog, MadPsychMum

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