The Greatest Award Your Child Wants To Receive Is Your Recognition

Posted by May November 21, 2021

The Greatest Award Your Child Wants To Receive Is Your Recognition

The school year has ended. Our Primary Schoolers received their report books and brought them back for our review. Some of us had our children received Character or Academic Awards while some of us hadn't. I was so happy for my children's friends who brought pride home with medals, trophies and certificates and I wished with all my might for those children who brought back no awards, that their parents were just as proud of them. Proud of what their children [our children] had learnt from this nasty Coronavirusnised 2021 - skills like Adaptability, Overcoming Fear, Accountability, Responsibility, Resilience, Respect and Compassion.

This week, our Primary Sixes will be bringing home their PSLE results!

Will you find it a cliché if I say, "The Greatest Award Your Child Wants To Receive Is Your Recognition"?

Come on. We all know how deep inside we would all love an "Academic Star" or "Aspiring Author" out of our children. Bringing home an accolade of some sort to seal the academic year with. So if they didn't bring home any, does it mean they aren't good enough?

Ya you can say so if you compared them to the five students in their class who went home with certificates. They are definitely not up to par.

But.

What if we looked at them for who they are? Are they still not good enough for us?

How can they not be good enough for us when we are seen as their entire World even though we have a million shortcomings as adults, as spouses and as parents who lose our tempers at them when they interrupt us in the middle of a call. Seriously, are our calls that important?

I digress.

EWAN

This one's a playful little nut *hahah* He rushes through his work so he can play more. Ah! My son is a child! I must always remind myself that when I start to expect more from my 9 year old. He.is.a.child.

May I remind every parent out there, Primary Three is the first year where kids are introduced to Exams for the first time. If our kids came back with shocking [unpleasant] results, it sometimes isn't really saying they are lousy okay? First tests and exams should be seen as benchmarks for them [and parents] to know where to go/what to do after that!

I do not prepare my children for Primary Three Exams from when they are in Primary One. Sorry but I do not subscribe to the misconception that we study for good results. My parents taught me to study for the education and I shall preach the same to mine.

Ewan's report book came back with daddy and grandparents patting him on his back and telling him they were proud of his results! I truly appreciated that because The Greatest Award Your Child Wants To Receive Is Your Recognition. *haha* Sorry I'm still at it.

He did well *smiles*

Now you asked me what did I do? Mommy me hugged him with tears in my eyes in the middle of a busy street because as we were walking to buy take-out for dinner, he randomly asked, "Shall we buy 妹妹 a sticker from that uncle back there? Faye gets a sticker and we can give him money."

Mom: What uncle?

Ewan: You didn't see him? He was in a wheelchair behind! Come I bring you. How could you have missed him mom?

Mom: Do you want to give him something?

Ewan: Yes.

I proceeded to give him a $2 note.

Ewan: Just $2? Don't you have more?

I was delighted about how generous he was! This one I credit his father.

So I gave him another $2 but he was eyeing my $10 *haha* I couldn't give him that red note because we wouldn't have money to buy dinner otherwise.

With that $4, he told the uncle he wanted to buy one strip of sticker. Dear uncle couldn't open the file because his hands couldn't do the job. Ewan took it from him and helped himself to it, choosing a Princess sticker for Faye. The uncle then told him to take six strips of stickers because 3 for $2.

Ewan: It's ok Uncle. I take 2 strips can already. You keep the rest.

When we walked away, I was feeling DAMN BLOODY PROUD OF MY SON! I stopped us short in the middle of a high traffic pedestrian walkway and hugged him really really tight, "I am so proud of what you've just done Ewan!" and then I teared.

What report book? What academic results? Oh man. I'm not interested in those anymore! I do not need him to be Everything! I want this boy, whose heart is good as gold, to know that these traits are what I live to nurture them into!

A rough diamond still working on better manners.

FAYE

I know Faye, my 7 year old, was longing to bring home an award. She doesn't say it but I know. She aspires to be a monitor, a prefect, a group leader, an achiever. Mommy has no doubts she will get there but again, in her own time.

Her Primary One report book came back with, to me, flying colours! For every subject, most were "Exceeding Expectations" except for one "Meeting Expectations" for say the topic on Telling Time in Math or Speaking Clearly in English. That however, did not make the cut for an award in class because the top few students probably had "Exceeding Expectations" in every aspect.

I thought through it and asked myself if I wished she brought home a certificate of achievement. Then I asked myself again, "Isn't it normal she has her shortcomings? How can I expect my daughter to be "Exceeding Expectations" out of everything when we do not teach her anything in advanced? Not being able to totally grasp the concept of Time at this age is totally acceptable!"

What made me SO VERY PROUD was this paper she brought home on the last day of school. I saw this as a huge achievement coming from my very quiet, timid and shy daughter. She had the entire page filled up by friends who saw her as a good friend!

I Class-Dojoed her form teacher immediately after seeing her entry in Faye's little booklet, "Dear Faye, thank you for being such a good girl. You tried so hard for your Show & Tell and I was very touched." I just had to thank her teacher for penning that down for my daughter because it means so much to us.

Faye finally mustered courage during her last Show & Tell in class. She is a very good story-teller at home. She wrote her own story, memorised all ten sentences without a problem but was scared rooted to the ground when all eyes were on her in class. She finally did it on the last term in Primary One and that is huge.

Her teacher replied me with so much pride and shared how she could see Faye trying her utmost best with tears welling in her eyes towards the end of her Show & Tell. I hugged my daughter and told her THIS is what deserves celebration this academic year.

Not the "Academic Star" nor the "Aspiring Author" titles nor the opportunity to be offered Higher Chinese.

She walked out of her comfort zone and all at her own terms!

What more should I ask for.

When it is my turn to receive my children's PSLE results, I hope to see beyond all these accolades and number bandings once again.

To be crystal clear and unclouded about the kind of achievements I should recognise out of my children's first six years in formal education.

This blog and all these words. They are the legacy I am leaving behind for my children, their children and my great-grandchildren. I love you all so very much kids.