Perspectives: PSLE Study Break Made Easier

Many would have deemed me foolish, brave or unsoundly chill to have made this decision on the fly to go for a 4 day 3 night staycation over the PSLE Study Break. I am certain my Instagram Stories became a hot topic amongst PSLE moms as screenshots of our stay surfaced on many WhatsApp Group Chats wondering if this PSLE Cooling Period activity came about because Ewan secured a spot in a Secondary School through DSA.

Ewan did not get a DSA offer nor is he studying in a Primary School with an affiliated Secondary School. He did not outdo himself in Prelims at all either! He even asked me in the week of PSLE, "What's Trapezium again? Two parallel sides is it?" Does these all matter? Yes! Of course they all matter but yet, they shouldn’t. 

We are doing this because...

No 12 year old should be made to study like a 16. 

No 12 year old should think that this is the hardest time of their life. 

No 12 year old should have to mature beyond their age and forget they are still children. 

No parent should lose their 12 year old to academic pressures whether mentally or physically. 

Changing routines and defying the norm [mommy is still a defiant child at heart], I swept Ewan out of the door and off we went to Hotel Indigo, Katong*. I could see that he was looking forward to this refreshing change as he bounced the day away and eagerly asked what time was check in. 

I like to be spontaneous and cool for my kid. Well, I try. More intentionally, I wanted to keep stress levels lower these last few few days with casual revisions in full air-conditioning, more Brawl Stars, ice-creams, chocolates, indulgences, later nights because we can catch a late show in bed before switching off the lights. Did I conveniently leave out the fact that there won't be any meal preps or household chores to bother about during the staycay?

"Happy Wife, Happy Life" is on the same wavelength as "Happy Mother, Happy Son" by the way.

Ewan even drew a bubble bath for me as he attended his Zoom lesson in the background! I honestly felt good.

At home though, I imagined I’d be angsty and burdened if I kept staying home in that same seat with him as we pore over papers that we could not wait to throw. That two seats that saw us through many fights solving those crazy problem sums from past year papers. I did not want the last lap to turn out that way especially if it may rock his confidence for PSLE. Me being stressed will in turn give him more pressure. 

I’m not braver nor chiller than the next mother. In fact, I have the potential to be that mom who pushes the kid to the bone and squeeze him to his potential. It is in me and I am afraid to turn into that person. So I am pushing that down and staying present for my kid who needs more than a grade tagged to him. 

Did we incorporate study too during our stay? Yes, I brought thin files of each subject along in our luggage. Ewan did study too and he was motivated to do so because there were so many fun activities to look forward to after each session! With the mall just right next to us, we went rock-climbing, spent time catching Pokemon at the Ga-Ole machines, swam at the infinity pool, indulged in one two many desserts in the Katong neighbourhood and played so much so much Brawl Stars together. 

The conversations during the stay were the most valuable. I asked him what is it that he does not like me to say on the mornings of PSLE? He told me, "YOU CAN DO IT" is very difficult to hear. 

I reckon he does not want to hear "GOOD LUCK" or "DO YOUR BEST" or "CHECK YOUR WORK" either. These 12 year olds probably just want the day to run as regular as possible; like any other day. That's how I'll handle it. 

He said it’s CRAZY not to take advantage of the last few days towards PSLE but he loved the idea of a “cooling period” too. I knew this was a good decision for us both when he told me on the first night of our staycay, “I actually don’t feel angry studying you know? I’m feeling calm!” Oh that’s exactly what I wanted to achieve! That him and I aren’t both pressured by the imminent date, 26th September. That we would laugh and joke while going through corrections.

What else drove this decision to leave the home were the stacks of assessment books and papers in close proximity. I did not want these stuff to be at arm's length at all. The kid who had already put in due diligence for the year deserves a change in routine.

Also, I wanted to ensure our relationship doesn’t get broken from just a National Exam. I really do not want to deal with a difficult teen who feels I do not understand him at all and all these stems from the build-up towards teenhood. Therefore, I am here trying my best’est’ to show him I’m not just saying when I say I care and love him. I was desperate to walk the talk and not contradict what I say. 

Mommies can be very contradicting, “I love you. Grades do not define you.” 

Then on the other hand, on another day, “Why didn’t you check! You know every mark counts right? Oh gosh and this is 2 marks! 2 marks 2 mark 2 marks, how many marks lost already?” 

I chuckled as I wrote these two lines. 

You must agree with me you’ve said the same thing to your kid and we had inevitably taught our kids that grades are everything. 

Know that I struggle too as a first-time PSLE mom. 

The Grades vs The Child.

I am certain with one thing though. That both are important but my child bears a whole lot more weight than the former. I want to focus on the right thing and that is hearing him, seeing him and giving him space. 

We have come to the end of our staycation and he is now nervously sitting his first PSLE paper as I write.

While choosing pictures to complement this blog post, I cannot help but insert this to the PSLE Photo Album. Oh the pleasure of seeing this artistically-placed tam pui [chinese potty for pooping] on peranakan tiles with a retro sewing machine in the background filled with past year papers is out of this world!

Cheers little man. 

No matter what happens next, we are still going to do life together. So, what matters is doing the Now right and that’s focusing on your well-being. 

And a very big Thank You to you for still running over in search of my hand under my sleeves as we crossed roads and shopped in the malls. I needed them more than you do.

*This hotel was booked because Daddy had enough points to redeem us a free stay.

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