Boys and Tears

I want to talk about boys and tears. I am sure most modern moms will agree that it is Okay to Cry. However, how many times have you told your boy, “Stop crying!” or “Boys don’t cry!” because that was how we were brought up? 

"Eeeee shame. You are a boy you know?"

"Cry for what! Lose and stand up again!"

"Be a man!"

What about daddies? Do most of you think that a boy should man up? Are men not allowed to be seen crying because it is a sign of weakness? 

As a woman, I see it as a sign of bravery. That you would allow yourself to not hide behind a facade and to vulnerably express your emotions. Man or Woman, we all have the same emotions but how do we channel them out of our system to battle stress? So to me, it is okay to cry. 

I am bringing this up because Ewan asked me last evening after his first National School Games, “Is it bad sportsmanship that I cried after I lost?” He did not make a scene, he did not wail. He just teared from a mix of emotions which include disappointment and passion. 

I told him No, I do not think that that’s bad sportsmanship. As long as he acknowledged his opponent’s win and walked away with a handshake. He should be allowed to channel his emotions thereafter. 

The boy shared that his school coach told him that crying is bad sportsmanship. I cannot fault or get mad at what his coach said. Because hey, that’s how Asians are. Boys Don’t Cry! You just have to take it, head high and walk off. It is how it is and Ewan has to know how to accept differing views but stick to his belief without being impolite. 

Roger cried. Tiger cried. Schooling cried. 

They cried because it meant so much to them. I definitely saw that as strength. I’d love a coach who hugs their players to show support to that loss and you know, grieve together. 

I’ve seen world class coaches do that for their players! 

At the most recent OBA Cup, Ewan’s badminton academy’s internal competition, a little boy walked out of court sobbing because he lost. His father said to him, “Yes! Cry son. Cry louder! Feel it! Let it out.” I must say he is the Modern Dad.

Coaches have seen it all and compassion to them is weak. But I have faith. Society and men will get there. I know it. Gosh.. am I in denial? 

I mean... wouldn't this curb suicidal thoughts should we allow our children to be open with their emotions rather than having them bottled up?

I told my son to do what he needs. If they are tears that need to be shed to get him ready for his next match, shed them.

Like Us on Facebook if you enjoyed the read!

A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.