Celebrate Our Children For Who They Are; Not The Awards or Accolades

My kids go to a neighbourhood school and I don’t talk about economic status to my kids. It’s all about respecting one another regardless of backgrounds and never belittling Any One. 

One of my kid’s classmate’s parent was sharing with me recently that her kid goes to a tuition centre along a well-to-do neighbourhood. A parent asked the kid which school was the kid from? Upon hearing the name of our school, that parent of the popular single-gender school turned around to her friend and gestured a thumbs down sign. 

The kid caught it and wondered why? Why is my school a thumbs down? I have good friends, amazing teachers and great opportunities. I don’t even want to change school for another! 

Are my kids happy with their neighbourhood school? I think they are because Ewan wishes it has a secondary school block so that he will never have to leave and Faye just said tonight “My school has such a safe and good environment! Why wouldn’t anyone want to come?” They feel thankful to be there! All kudos to their nurturing teachers. 

This propelled me to share my thoughts on the academic awards given out year after year by different constituencies. 

During this season, social media will see a spike in similar photographs of a child holding a certificate with her beaming parents and a minister. Pride for our children’s achievements could inevitably turn into bragging rights and seen as toxic for the insecure. 

They would see the first post with this caption “She’s my pride and joy! Well done my darling! Your hard work paid off.” They put it off knowing their kid isn’t of that same caliber. 

They were greeted with more posts of their friends and their kids in the coming weeks and wondered, “Maybe I should check my letterbox. Maybe he showed up for this one and got recognised! Maybe I can feel proud just this once.” 

January came and went. Still nothing in that letter box but bills. More photographs pop up in their faces. They felt a pang of disappointment and questioned themselves as parents. Will they in turn push their children blindly towards academic achievements and use words like, “See lah! He she her him also got certificate. Where’s yours? Yours leh? Why can’t you put in more effort! Don’t be so lazy! I think I need to buy more assessment books for you.” 

I speak for myself as an influencer, not for all parents or other influencers. I choose not to share such photographs even though I’d love for the world to feel my pride. I choose not to share also because neither of my kids or husband think it’s a big deal. 

Well, I think it’s big! I’m so full of pride! I make a big deal out of it with many photographs and have them filed nicely! *hahah* but I suppress myself on social media because I promise to spread positivity. 

I personally feel that the negative effects are much bigger than the positive for this one. Because hey… only 10% to 15% of the school’s cohort will receive these awards! The majority actually sits out! Hopefully not tipping their kids over their capacity in the midst. 

So adults, with my first story, please don’t judge a child by the school he/she goes to because you don’t know any of the amazing things the school had done for their students. 

And with my second sharing, I am so proud of all your kids who got that chance to go up on stage! You definitely earned the bragging rights! I am not saying "Stop posting!". I am hoping to pass the message to the majority of Singaporean families who did not receive the award, that, this does not seal your child’s future at all. 

This kid was your baby, your toddler. This is your kid, your life! You know this amazing fella the best. You know what they are good at and there can’t be nothing. Celebrate that spark and never ever dim it with your actions or words. 

Are you beating yourself up as a parent? Stop questioning yourself about what you’ve done or not done! We need to parent our children not by societal norms but by what we believe is right for them.

I write this to also remind myself to be that parent for Ewan and Faye.

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.