At Home: Shared Responsibilities in Parenting

I don't believe in Gender Equality per se. 

There are some jobs men can do better than women. Of course, and some jobs women can do better than men. If we seek gender equality at face value, then women should stop expecting men to open doors for them and men should be able to birth a child. Biologically, we just aren't equal. 

But I believe in Shared Responsibilities regardless of Gender. Let's talk about Parenting.  

Women came a long way from being shut at home doing what society thinks we should to who we can be today - the empowerment to earn her own keep and run her household at the same time. Men are expected to be the sole breadwinner working long hours to feed his family. In today's society, there are less resistance in cross-sharing roles [but maybe more should be done with mindset change]. If a papa is a more competent stay-home parent, he stays home! I mean, do we still discriminate men for staying home? We find an equilibrium and draw up a master plan to best bring up a thriving family and parenting roles should not be drawn. 

I count my blessings for the opportunities I have growing up in this era where I experienced climbing the corporate ladder with no gender discrimination. I double count my blessings when my husband chooses to put aside gender-stereotyped roles to help with dish-washing, child-minding, laundry, mopping and most importantly, he knows he is indispensable when it comes to putting the kids to sleep. Unless he is not in Singapore, he's sure be home to put the kids to sleep by 7.30pm. 

One extremely overloaded Friday, with a mountain of laundry on my sofa, a boy with homework to be completed before the weekend arrives and a clock ticking dangerously close to dinner-prep hour, came a little girl who chanted, "I'm so bored" a million times around me. She was close to tears, threw a fit and stomped her feet. 

"I want to do face-painting! Can anyone do face-painting with me?" she asked over and over again. I told her I was really swarmed but as soon as I found the time, we will do it. But her patience began to wear thin and all hell almost broke loose. 

The day was saved when daddy [who was extremely busy himself from Work From Home responsibilities] offered himself, "Okay Okay! You can paint my face and I will paint yours." What is deemed as a mom's job became what my husband believed in as Shared Responsibility.

Can I just say, a man's job isn't over after he returns from his 9-5 job? Gone are the days he comes home and sit in front of the tele with his newspaper, be called to dining table to eat and leave his dishes without even bringing it to the sink. He works hard to put food on the table yes but it is also just as much his responsibility to raise his kids together with his wife. It is also just as much our responsibility as women to change light bulbs if our men aren't available. We must be Okay to cross-share roles for a home to thrive!

It was a moment of pride for me to see my husband, the kids' father, assuming this feminine role of face-painting to maintain peace at home. He would gladly let his daughter put make-up on him and tie his hair with ribbons if it makes her happy. 

Good thing it was almost the end of the day and no Zoom meetings were scheduled! Imagine a green dragon with a poisonous wart on his nose talking sales budget at work!

He did such an amazing job on Faye considering it was his first try. I saw them giggling at each other. The adoring gaze from my daughter to her papa. I felt genuinely lucky for this sight.

Then I got jealous *haha* I didn't want to out of the game! I offered Faye, "Do you want to paint one more face? You can paint mine!" I decided to push back dinner-prep to be part of this. 

And there I got myself a sloppy job of a rainbow because she was tired already *haha* Love it still!

A mom's role is pivotal. So is a dad's when it comes to bringing up children. Sometimes, a father may not think they are as important as mothers but the truth is, they play a bigger role than they know. 

Life is easier at home for everyone when man and wife understand the meaning of teamwork and shared responsibilities in parenting. 

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.