Mindful Meditation Benefits the Whole Family

Meditation are supposed to be silent and still. It's different with kids though. They are encouraged to stay still but if they can't, the moderator in the app we use always say [in her calmest voice], "If this is hard to do, if you feel some parts of your body wriggling, that's okay. Just do the best you can. On some days our bodies can sit still and other days are more difficult."

So sometimes, when we do our bedtime meditation as a family, we will have a short discussion in between as we speak out loud to the questions posed to us. That's because the kids can't possibly stay still for too long *haha* They are always fidgeting, trying to get to a comfortable position. Sometimes they daydream, just like adults do! A change-up to share about our feelings out loud instead of inside our heads, helps. 

It has been a year since we started meditating. We do our family meditation sessions mostly before bedtime. In the dark, in bed, under covers. If I chose a day time to meditate, it must be because the kids misbehaved or couldn't calm themselves down.

Last night, I decided to choose an adult [instead of kids' version of meditation] topic on Loving-Kindness. A long one - 15 minutes. 

We were encouraged to repeat four verses to shower ourselves love and kindness. The moderator suggested:

May I be Happy

May I be Safe

May I be Healthy

May I be at Peace

These were supposed to be said in our minds but Ewan and Faye decided to speak out loud. Sure! Let's do this. There's probably more affirmation in hearing ourselves in the room. 

We were then asked to think of someone we love [someone we feel neutral to and someone who hurt us] to spread loving kindness to. Broadcasting these four verses to them will help us learn to be kinder people; even to the people who we do not really like. What a lesson to learn from young... Not easy at all but this is the only way to cut ourselves some slack and learn how to love ourselves [by even learning how to love and accept our enemies].

Tamara Levitt, the moderator for most of our meditation sessions, then elevated the night's thought process to, "Now, think of your own four phrases to send to yourselves. What would you say to spread loving-kindness to yourself?"

The room was quiet and again, meditation are self-reflections. We typically keep these thoughts to ourselves. Just then, Faye offered her own phrases and I love them so much. This came from a six year old! I am so glad I started them early with meditation. Learning how to introspect is a skill too.

Faye:

May I not be scared

May I be brave

May I be wonderful

May I be beautiful

From this, I realised that my daughter actually has self-awareness. She knows she is shy. That she is not comfortable of simple things like approaching someone to ask for help. She's not even comfortable to greet people [I had the same problem when I was little].

Ewan added, "You should also say May I Greet People" 

*haha*

Ewan continued thereafter with his own version of May Is.

Ewan:

May I be polite

May I do only good and not the bads

May I be patient

May I stop biting my nails

These were more of what he wanted to work on towards his future self. Not so much of sending love and kindness to his heart but I nodded with pride at every of his self-awareness too. He is aware that he can be brash and rude with his words. He is aware that he can be easily irritable when things don't come to him quick enough. He is aware that biting nails is a bad habit and he is also aware that sometimes he chooses to act on situations in a naughty manner.

I appreciate such nights with the family because I learn so much from the kids as much as they've learnt from themselves! 

Mommy decided to share her phrases:

May I be patient 

Ewan: But you are patient already

Mom: Not enough

Ok... that's all I remembered saying *haha* I took the effort only to take note of what my children say because to me, those words and thoughts are too precious to let go. 

There are so many wonderful storybooks in the market, touching on social-emotional learnings to develop self-awareness, social-awareness and self-management. I love them all. Meditation takes it right up to the practical level. You know? Like the Theory and Practical lessons when we learn how to drive? I am absolutely loving the quality time spent together as a family and I'm hoping the children will have this skill ingrained in them in a sub-conscious manner that when faced in a sticky emotional situation as adults, they will know how to holistically manoeuvre their way out.

Daddy was silent all these while. He worked on his own loving-kindness inside his head. I didn't ask him what love messages he sent himself but I know he agrees that this is a good exercise for us all.

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.