Nursing the Dragon, Milking the Chick

edited on 2 February 2017
Which visual do you prefer May? A or B?

I replied, "A of course! My kids looking grumpy because I pointed at them for being my greatest challenge after birth is just perfect!"

Joyful Beginnings is a campaign to raise awareness of Postnatal Depression and to promote the importance of support for a mother during postnatal to ensure mental well-being. Support can be shown through various forms, one of which is support from fellow mothers. We believe that by sharing similar experiences and challenges, mothers will be able to seek comfort in knowing that they are not the only ones going through such difficulties. Everyone has their own set of challenges, and we hope mothers will be able to support one another in overcoming these challenges.

My biggest challenge after giving birth was: 
Breastfeeding, because everybody says breastmilk is best, but nobody ever told me that it was going to be so difficult and painful. We tried very hard with Ewan for four months. [Yet, it was a breeze with Faye.]

Overcoming the challenge: 
I called the lactation consultation hotline of every hospital almost everyday, whenever I had a doubt. I needed somebody to talk to, to know if the baby was latching correctly, and to know if I was doing it correctly because it was really painful. I didn’t know the reason why Ewan cried all day long — if he was uncomfortable or if he didn’t have enough milk. My mother-in-law and my dad also supported me by dropping in with lunch on a daily basis. I couldn’t find time to cook, as taking care of a new-born as a first-time mother was pretty overwhelming. My husband came back every night on time to help (with taking care of the baby), even though he was as clueless as I was being first-time parents.

Eventually, I nursed both Ewan and Faye up to two years old before I weaned them.

Words of encouragement: 
When babies cry, it is a way of communication — it is not because you are a bad mom. This is how they talk to us because they have no words, no vocabulary, no language. Crying becomes the only way for them to tell us how they are feeling. The problem is, we don’t know whether they are crying because they are hungry, whether they have a wet diaper, whether they are feeling hot or cold! We just have to go down the list and try. And if it does not work, we try again, and again. Just do not think that it is your fault, or that you are a bad mom because as much as the baby is learning to understand you, you are also learning to understand him. It takes time. I promise you will be a pro when the second child comes.

Working Through Cracked Nipples and Insufficient Sleep written on 20 February 2013
Oh no "Nursing the Dragon, Milking the Chick" isn't some award-winning film Ang Lee is producing this Summer. It's just baby dragon nursing his hunger off mummy hen - the story of our lives [He is born a Dragon and I, a Rooster]. One that I enjoy while I can with this helluva hungry boy!

It was really tough the first 2.5 months because he latches on me every other hour. I would say, it is the most draining part of mummy-hood besides putting him to sleep. That (the awaken dragon) warrants another blog post altogether so let us focus on breastfeeding here.

Every pregnancy seminar you attend tells you, "Breastfeed till at least 6 months. It's the best gift you can give to you child." None, not a single one or even Mrs Wong Boh Boi (Assistant Director of Thomson ParentCraft Centre), shared that it will be the most painful and punishing task a mother will have to undertake. Already we are deprived of sleep. Yet, we still have to endure the sores and bruises from breastfeeding. To my fellow soon-to-be new mommies, don't fret just yet. Once you get through the toughening part, you will start to enjoy breastfeeding. In fact, you might miss it when the little one decides to wean off you on his own.

Let's go back to Day 1 - 30th May 2012.

I was very excited to nurse Ewan. I knew this was what I wanted for my child. Well-loved and breastfed. When I cradled him in my arms and brought him close to me, I guided him to his milk and YeeOWCH! He, who was only a couple of hours old, had no idea how to latch properly without hurting mommy! Worst of all, there was no lactation consultant on site to guide us through the next few feeds because he was born at 1:07am. By the time help came, I was bitten, cracked and battered. Now wait.. can I bold bitten, cracked and battered?

I was absolutely sure we had it all wrong because it shouldn't hurt like this? Guess what the LC said .... he was latching correctly and I guided him alright. Oh gosh! If all is right and it hurts this much, I have no idea how long I can survive this.

Day 2 ... Day 3 ... he kept crying. The old folks all concurred that I am not providing enough. That put me in doubt and I did consider introducing formula. We want only the best for our pride and joy. So if the best can't sustain him, we have to go for alternatives! Besides, I needed a break from all these nippling. They were so cracked, I was taught how to syringe the colostrum out for feeding. Another very tiresome duty because I was up for an hour syringing out just half a syringe of colostrum. That is 5 ml!

So I talked to my LC and gynae about it but they assured me that I am providing enough for Ewan. A little baby do not need that much of milk. "So why is he crying? How much is he supposed to drink at this age?" The answer I got, "Give him however much you have even if it's only 5ml".

Wow... is that enough? But I persevered because I felt guilty even thinking about giving Ewan formula. How interesting societal pressures work their thing on us huh. Just because breastfeeding is now strongly encouraged worldwide, we are pressured to steer clear of formula. The tagline "breastfeeding is the best gift you can give your child" is an intimidation. It is a challenge. One that MAY do more harm than good on the sanity of a new mother. 

I gave Ewan formula in the hospital. Just that one feed because I was going crazy with the number of times he was brought in to me and the night-shift nurse insisted that my baby was famished. Her words, "Just let me show you what formula can do". She wanted to show me that formula can shut Ewan up. You know what? It did shut him up but I felt like crap.

The next day, my gynae came to visit and I confessed tearfully that Ewan was formula-fed. I really regretted I was swayed into it. Yeah ... all these guilt-tripping. The whole nursing team had a trashing down from my gynae that morning and she ordered Ewan to room-in with me from then on. She was pro breastfeeding and was not happy that I was talked into formula.

We checked out a week later and back home I continued to breastfeed. No more nurses to tell me what to do but there was the nanny. The O-So-Experienced nanny whom I listened obediently to. Ewan finished his small-tin of Similac Comfort Stage 1. He was both breast- and formula-fed. I was so tired breastfeeding him every other hour and hearing him crying that I agreed to formula for certain nights while I caught up on my sleep.

I broke down several times because it was so hard to keep up with Ewan. On his full-month party, I decided to miss two latches just so I can entertain guests. Holy cow! I ran a fever with rock-hard breasts. It was so painful I wanted to die. I had mastitis. It is a breast infection in the tissue of the breast. Before this episode, I had plugged ducts too and I felt so down. It was very difficult but these tips helped a lot: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/common-problems/plugged-milk-ducts

You will notice one of the suggestions is to vary baby's position? This was such a challenge for me. I'm already so sore and cracked from the cradling position, I still have to suffer more pain from changing his cradle hold to football hold? OMG! Crack crack Craacckkk! So that's double the pain. Welcome to all breastfeeding mummies' world. I called all the hospitals' parentcraft centres every other day just to clear my doubts but really just to keep sane by talking to someone.

Q: My son is crying everyday. Am I feeding enough?

A: If he has 7-10 wet diapers a day, he has enough

Conclude: Yea he does so he has enough but he is still crying

Q: I have plugged ducts. What shall I do?

A: Do this..blah blah.. Do that.. blah blah

Conclude: Do Everything there is to help clear the plugged ducts

One day, I called in a lactation specialist. I had been crying and feeling helpless. Ewan is not sleeping after nursing. He was still crying like crazy and I had no idea what was up with him. I hardly got any rest myself because he latches ONE HOUR on me, sleeps for ONE HOUR and wants to latch again for another HOUR. Hello?? I am literally a mother cow.

Doris Fok came to my rescue by giving me a sense of renewed confidence (unlike my nanny who constantly reminds me that my son is hungry). She stayed for 1.5 hours talking to me about the science and benefits of breastfeeding. She calculated his birth weight and matched against his current, gave me a big thumbs up and said, "He is gaining weight well! Meaning, you are providing him enough!"

Yay! That set my mind at ease but why is he still crying so much? It seems that we found the answer with Doris. Ewan suckles for comfort and what she told me next made me nurse Ewan with love and understanding.

"It seems to me that your baby looks at you as his comfort object. When he suckles, he feels safe. Instead of feeling tired and angry, be proud that you are so important to him. Stay focused and strong. NO amount of breastmilk will make a baby obese but constant feeding of formula will."

I did it! After four months of pain and struggles, I rode through sleepless days (and nights) to breastfeed him without complains. Ewan is fully breastfed till today and I am enjoying every bit of it. No more pain but beware of the engorgements that might creep up on you if you aren't careful. That's a nightmare!

Please keep this list of telephone numbers close you your bedside. You will need it, trust me!

Oh, just to share, Ewan's high on milk look. I love it! He doesn't do this anymore now that he is older but here's him at Day 11. Also, just a word of encouragement to all soon-to-bes out there, when you hear people say, "It will only get better", It's True lah!

Ewan high on milk at Day 11

I would also like to add that a mother's sanity is most important and if formula is required just because, please don't go down the guilt trip road. Do not forget this but we were formula-fed too. We do not love our moms less just because they did not nurse us due to personal reasons. Yet, I know the idealistic you will keep pushing yourself to do better with each day. Whatever route you choose, remember not to fall into Post-Natal Depression. It creeps on you so silently you wouldn't even know you have it.

If you are not sure which brand of formula milk to purchase, I'd highly recommend Bellamy's Organic. It is organic, natural, has natural prebiotic fibre and uses certified organic palm oil that are not derived from farming practices that reduce rain forests or harm the habitat of orang utans.

BREASTFEEDING IS A TEAMWORK! Read what 12 moms have to say about their own breastfeeding journey.

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 
We want to echo the sound of love through our lives to inspire other mothers alike.