Who Is The Culprit For Today's Standard In Primary School?

Every family has different expectations of their children and mine is quite basic for Ewan and Faye. As long as they understand what’s required from school, I am satisfied. The tougher questions set for the top 1% cohort aren’t something I’d bother to touch on in our revisions. They can leave it blank and I shall continue to ensure they will not be fazed by them; putting emphasis in not beating themselves up. I hope I walk my talk because it’s so easy to be sucked into this schooling rat race when society pressures the mom. My children aren’t the top 10% and I do not require them to be.  

As cliche as it sounds, I can accept bad results but I cannot accept bad attitude. I enrage whenever their attitude towards work [i.e. their responsibility] fall short of my expectations. I do scream. Yes I do. If you’ve nagged about something 10 times, tell me you can repeat yourself on the nth time with patience and loving-kindness. Sometimes when I get furious, drained or defeated, I raise my voice at the kids and guilt-trip them. That is so very bad of me. Yet, all this talk about Mom Rage really does exist.

I realised though, the basic academic expectations of our Singaporean children are indeed quite high. What I deem as Basic does not equate to what my nation deem it to be. How can I work through this system without forgetting my children’s mental health? 

It is very unfortunate I had to do a Chinese Compo practice with Ewan on a weekend. We normally do not touch academics on weekends but I couldn’t finish what I needed him to do yesterday, exams are looming and yada yada yada.

We adults fought for five day work week. Why are our children made to study over the weekend because they too, worked [studied] a five-day week like us! If we want our weekend, they would want theirs too. Working parents do not have time on weekdays, I understand [but the kids don’t]. If we had worked the whole day and feel the burn-out when our bosses send us to a three hour OT meeting, why do we think our children are able to handle a three-hour tuition after school, after homework and after dinner? 

Something is wrong here.  

I heard some of Ewan's friends [they are only 9 years old] aren't allowed screen time at all until Final Examinations are over. His jaw fell to the ground, so did mine. There are five weeks before our P3s are done with their papers! It is COVID times and there really aren't many places to go for our kids to unwind. TV seems to be reasonable when administered appropriately. 

I hope we can all see clearly with each step we take as our children embark in their education journey. 

I advocate tuition only if the home is not able to support the child to keep up to the basic requirements of the system. I do not advocate tuition for a child to score 95 when they are already an 85. Oh man! Not everyone can even afford tuition! 

This mom here is not able to help her son revise for Chinese Compo because she was a F9-er for O levels June. Culprit: Compo. Although she managed a C5 on the 2nd try, seeking help from an online tutoring platform to focus on Chinese Composition became inevitable at P3. That one hour per week had been very helpful. 

I hope this composition is justifiable for a 9 year old. Some parts are abrupt, there are wrongly written characters but he is only but 9. If this isn’t good enough, I don't know what is. I don’t want to push him anymore than this. He is entitled to make mistakes.

Please… the system doesn’t spiral up on its own. It takes two hands to clap - parents and school.  

The system is trying to catch up to our children's capabilities that certain parents forged through over-teaching. Other parents get pressured and try to chase the system. Yet other average kids and families like mine who want to have a good balance in life, take the brunt.

My kids do not have academic enrichments since pre-school but I am their tutor who helps with revisions today. I am considered their enrichment too right? If I don't step in with revisions, I will not be able to help them be ready for exams which are set in a way that test the kids more than what they had been taught.  However, I do not teach more than what the school teaches. Yet if I don't, they will not be able to get that last few questions. 

What do I do? Where do I draw the line? 

Of course, I have to draw the line at my child's threshold. We parents just have to accept that this is how much our child can do. I do not push my child after hearing "He has more potential, he can do better." if he doesn't already have a good balance of play and work. 

Teachers say it because it is their job to help our children improve. But we parents have to know when to stop, when is enough. 

Let's make the right decision.

A big group of Someone somewhere, has to somehow be brave enough to say, "I want to sit out of this race." and maybe, we will start to see a difference.   

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A stay at home mum, blogging to widen her social life. 

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